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My Love/Hate Relationship

The breakup was inevitable

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My Love/Hate Relationship
Pixabay

I’ve expressed my love of social media before in my articles, it’s a relationship that started when I was about fifteen and only seemingly grew as time went on. Honestly, it’s more of a love/hate relationship. I have my issues with social media and I’ll be closing all but one of my social mediums later this year (a few have been closed). There was this feeling of mortal dread at times, I’m not someone who cares much for “likes” or “hearts” on my statuses, pictures, Tweets, etc., but there were moments where someone I admire wouldn’t “heart” my picture on Instagram and I would overthink it. It’s a crummy feeling because you know it’s not really an issue, you’re just creating one out of it. We’re good at creating issues out of the ether. Then, you see that they liked someone else’s picture and you’re either filled with self-doubt or further dread. “Maybe they like him, not me…oh, I don’t know.” This isn’t exactly why I’m closing my social media accounts later, it’s part of the love/hate relationship.

The reason I’ll be closing Facebook (again, I’ve done it before, but this time is intended to be permanent) is because life is too filtered to me. Also, there are people where I swear to myself I care about them and their lives…but when was the last time I talked to them? Four…five years ago? Sometimes. It’s full of so much vitriol, people arguing back and forth, it gets saddening to an extent. To constantly see people attacking one another on issues that certainly matter, they dehumanize one another and create “sides”. Liberals are libtards who don’t understand how the world works. They are socialists who want to go the route of communism because they hate capitalism and everything America stands for. They want to give handouts because they think the American Dream is dead. Conservatives are racists, cowards, overly-religious without truly living of the Bible but preach it to high heaven, they would rather a bigger military than adequate education for their offspring. They hate Muslims, hate the idea of women getting an equal wage, and they aren’t fond of Mexicans. That’s FB comments in a nutshell when the political discourse becomes political discord.

I’ve seen women referred to as the “b”-word and other unkind words we attach to women plastered all over social media. Sure, I listen to rap music and it’s said all the time…I hate that too. Many of the people in my life who’ve helped and influenced me greatly have been women; the objectification is something I’m sad to say I never railed enough against in my time here. I’m tired of it. Honestly, I’m exhausted of the bickering, the hate, and the dehumanization of people; people I don’t know, people I love, people I sort of know. It’s worn on me. I’ve had a Facebook since SIXTH grade…that’s eight years of my twenty with a pulse on the world.

I left Twitter because it was more of the same, or same but more. I’m leaving Instagram because I don’t care enough to keep it. I hardly post pictures myself, check it to see who’s posting what and who’s pictures I “like” to heart them. There are models I follow: some female, some male; the males make me feel a tad insecure at times, “I’m not tall, not toned white or tan (I’m brown), nor can I pull off such an outfit.” No, I won’t get taller all of a sudden (but a man can dream), I can’t pull off a three piece brown suit because it’s too close to my skin tone (I can pull of most colors, which is a blessing) and it’s repetitive. Arguably, it continues to perpetuate the masculine type in Western culture. It fills me with mortal dread sometimes. I still love YouTube and want to start a channel, though...is that social media? I don't know.

Look, if you love social media and all that comes with it: fantastic, more power to you because there’s so much to it and it’s truly wonderful. For me, it’s tiring. It makes me question too many things about myself. I’m not the sort to compare my life too much to others…but I’d be a liar (and my mother didn’t raise a liar) to say I’m totally unaffected by it all. Personally, I’m very happy with my life, I’m unabashedly excited for the future and I know there are things in life that are extra that I don’t need; such as social media platforms.

This is my final article as a writer for the Odyssey, my final time as EIC as well. It’s been a pleasure to have this platform to write on: I’ve had my share of articles I’ve loved and others I’ve grown to despise I wrote. I have no regrets with the articles I’ve written, the ones I didn’t get around to either. With that said, I’m working on other projects and have to move on to the next thing. Farewell. As always:

I wish everyone Peace and Much Love.

---Michael A. Gracia

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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