In my case, fall is my favorite time of year, which means I'm at my peak. I love everything about this time of year, but the only thing that really bugs me is couples. No, I don't hate relationships. I actually am one of those girls that craves long term commitment, trust and all that jazz. But how does one like me achieve such a thing when this generation is so afraid to love?
Right now I am sitting in a loop. A stupid rut is holding me hostage and I cannot get out. First of all, the loop I'm in revolves around one boy and the rut is his aura. I care about this kid so much and since we got to school, I've done nothing but spend time with him. You would think he may have taken the time to talk to me about his feelings, but when I asked him he said he was unsure. Actually, he told me that he was happy with me and enjoyed my company. But what's that mean? Are we a thing? I literally have no idea and it really bugs me.
His actions, his body language, and his gestures all lead me to believe that he feels the same way, but how am I supposed to tell for sure? I'm not one of those girls to go around and ditch him because he hasn't spoken up, but I just hate wasting my time on something that may not happen. You know what I'm saying? Like I said, I care about him. I don't want to leave him and shit, but relationships like this make me super insecure. Without discussion about what we are, I feel like this is just an open mess. Maybe it's just me digging too deeply, but I don't know what else to do.
If you follow my articles closely, you know what I have gone through and all that and maybe I repeat the same things about different people, but each person I interact with carries their own experience. For this kid, I don't know what his purpose is going to mean for me, but what I want is something special. It's fall and I just want one of those cutesy relationships with kisses and cuddles, movies and hot cocoa and long drives around town. I really don't need anything else then someone to be there for me, and this kid I keep bringing up is there for me most days. He's a good kid and I'm glad to have him (and his roommates) as good friends.
Since this article has been a jumbled rant, I just want to close by saying that fall is a time for love. I shared my little detailed story about what I'm going through and I hope that everyone out there finds someone to snuggle with this fall. Leaves are changing and falling from the trees, so change your clothes from the summer drab and go out there.
