Most of my friends who are reading this probably think this article is about Aaron Judge. Unfortunately, my words are not quite as exciting as #99 is.
I have spent so much time judging to the point where I get confused between being flat out judgmental and voicing my opinion.
I think a lot of my judgments come from my self critical character. If a genie would grant me one wish, I would get rid of my harsh self criticism. Unfortunately, I don't have a genie, so I have to make the change myself. The general consensus is that you should be yourself no matter the costs, but I think that if that one thing is making a negative impact on your life, letting your walls down and being willing to change is a step in the right direction.
The whole point of this story isn't to wallow in my self- deprecation; I want to elaborate on how I have become more accepting of situations that I have no control over. I'm an individual that has extremely high standards for myself so I often become judgmental of others. I use to think that certain events would trigger universal feelings for everyone. For example, as I have had a fair share of friends leave me over the years, I would think that it would be obvious to them that their abrupt absences have upset me. Recently, I have become more aware of the reason why an old friend and I can have such different reactions to the same situation. It all comes down to values. Thinking in this perspective has given me the ability to forgive people for the choices they have made. However, I am still justified to be disappointed. Disappointed in myself for not standing up for me and actually verbally let the other person know the effects of what their actions had on me, disappointed in the sense that someone who I cared about no longer wants to be associated with me. The only difference between my disappointment nowadays compared to last year is that, my thoughts have become more rooted in facts than in judgments.
Many people are acquainted with the saying "see the good in others." In the past, I unfortunately have not rolled with that phrase much, but the good thing is that it's never to late to think in a different way. I have come to the realization that it is much less stressful and exhausting to be nonjudgmental. As now I'm able to take a pause before acting, I have become more present in my thoughts and actions. I no longer frequently have thoughts like "Wow, I feel so guilty for even thinking that", "I'm so ungrateful", "I don''t deserve anything I have." Living with less and less judgements coursing through my brain is almost better than the rolls on an English Bulldog puppy.
