This article is inspired by YouTuber and best-selling author Connor Franta's memoir, "A Work In Progress." This is one of my all time favorite books because it describes a journey of self discovery in great detail. We learn about Franta's life and experiences through his perspective. We learn about things he has struggled with and things he has learned about himself. We learn about his path to self discovery which I believe is one of the most important things in a person's life.

I first read this book last year and was immediately captivated by it. It was the first memoir I have ever read and I think that reading it opened up my own path to self discovery. Franta reminisced about significant memories he has and how they helped him become who he is today. Since reading this book I have tried to do the same. I have tried to connect my personal experiences to my current experiences and behaviors. This was the first step in a long process to learning more about myself.

At first, it was a bit difficult for me. It often feels like I have a bad memory because I can't remember many of my experiences from a young age in detail. Even though I have trouble remembering specific events, I can recall my behaviors and my personality through different stages of my life. Looking back on things, I noticed that I was very dependent on friends through elementary and middle school. But that's normal for kids, right? To feel like they need friends to fit in, or to have a good time at school. That is pretty normal. However, there is a point where it becomes unhealthy or just unhelpful. If a child relies too much on getting the approval of others, that way of thinking will stay with him or her for a very long time. Living based off of the approval of friends or peers is not a healthy way to live, especially at a young age. I realize now that the way I acted was often for attention or because I thought I was pleasing my friend or someone I wanted to be friends with. I wasn't being true to myself. Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on my 10-year-old self, but I have discovered that it's crucial to stay true to yourself at every age. If you do that, you have a better chance of living life to the fullest and being the happiest you can be. I shouldn't have been so worried about making a good impression on people who wouldn't even pay attention to me in the future when they got "better" friends.

The people I tried so hard to fit in with in elementary and middle school turned out to be some of the least important people in my life. Once high school hit, everything changed. I rarely talked to any of those people anymore, they were just kids who I shared some classes with. After I realized this and found myself a real group of friends, it made things easier yet more difficult at the same time. I then had a group of friends whom for the most part, I could be myself around. But at the same time, it made me withdraw from others and almost scared to hang around other people. I was only comfortable around my one group of friends, and often became very closed off when surrounded by my other peers, even though I had know them for just as long. I was constantly worried that I was being judged about my interests by these people, so I became a more quiet person. I kept to myself when my friends weren't around and avoided certain people. It got to the point in which I was voted "Most Shy" during my senior year of high school, when up until high school I was a pretty outgoing person who would start talking and never stop. This may seem like I've gone off topic, but this is one of the most important pieces to the puzzle that is me and my life. Once I became aware of this situation, I had already graduated high school and was preparing for one of the scariest yet most exciting things ever, college.

So, things didn't start to change right away. I slowly got more comfortable being around different people and in different situations. Then when things were beginning to look even better, they got thrown off balance yet again because it was time for me to go off to college. Back in my shell I went, scared to face the new world I was living in and meet new people. But, hope was found when I met my first group of college friends. That basically brought me full circle back to when I found my group of friends in high school. I was comfortable with that one group and that was it... until I decided that I wanted more. I started to discover my independence. I realized that I couldn't hold myself back any longer, that I just needed to go for it and give myself the life I want to have. If I didn't want to be stuck in the same cycle that I was in during high school, I had to make a change. I had to stop caring so much about what other people thought and just do what makes me happy. Of course it wasn't easy and it didn't happen right away. It started with small things. I started exploring my interests and finding out new things that I didn't know I enjoyed doing and made a habit of doing them. I was finally on the path to self discovery. I was finally being true to myself.

This past year has been full of new experiences that have helped me become the best me I can be. I am learning from my past experiences and using what I have realized to my advantage. I know what I don't what with my life right now, and I'm learning more and more everyday about what I do want. I haven't finished walking the path to becoming myself yet, my life is a work in progress. Each day I will continue to find out more exciting and new things about myself. I will try things and probably discover that they're just not for me. I will take every opportunity I can to move forward down my path to self discovery. I will continue to do what I want without searching for the approval of others. I will do all that I can to become the best me I can be. I am a work in progress and I am proud of it.