Since I was 16, I have had only one real "enemy," and you'd be surprised at who (rather, what) it is. My enemy is the cold. While we are definitely feeling some unusually high temperatures for it being early November, it is undoubtedly getting colder, and this means that I--and other people like me--have to go ahead and bundle up long before the snow and winter hit. My friends all know this about me before they know many other things. But I'm not just a wimp who doesn't like to be cold: I have a disease called Raynaud's, just like an estimated five percent of the U.S. population.

Raynaud's is a slightly vague disease: it has common symptoms and characteristics, but each and every case is unique. The cause for the condition is unknown, but as my doctor explained it to me, it is basically an overreaction of the organs. In a normal person, when the body gets in very cold conditions, its organs start to go into panic mode in order to keep from shutting down; to do this, it pulls the blood from the person's extremities to keep warm and stay alive. In people with Raynaud's, their organs start to do this long before it is life-or-death, in some cases, even when it's barely freezing. It is believed that Raynaud's is hereditary, although that's not 100 percent proven. This would make sense for me ,because my mom also has it (women are also nine times out of ten the carriers and victims over men). Her case is different than mine as well, but seeing her diagnosed a few years before me made it easier for me to know that I needed to see a doctor when my symptoms started occurring.Some people turn blue, some purple, some white (I've heard it referred to as the "zombie disease"); certain websites say this should be in a specific order, but to my understanding, it doesn't always work that way.

For me, I can feel it coming on first in my feet. These "attacks" are called vasospasms, meaning that the arteries contract. And it's always on my left side before the right (I think this is because my left side is my dominant side). What happens is this: the balls of my feet, my toes, and my heels will start to feel extremely sensitive. Then, pretty quickly, they are completely numb, and if I take my socks off, will always be a ghostly white. They feel like bricks. Then, it's my fingers. However, my fingers don't go numb or turn color most of the time. Instead, they hurt. The bones in my fingers actually ache. But it's not even always about cold for me. I also am susceptible to going numb from different textures and positions. For example, if I wear flats or moccasins without socks on a mild day, just walking around campus is enough to make me start to go numb.

Then, after any or all of these situations has happened, warming back up obviously needs to occur. But it's more complicated than that: it can't happen quickly. Warming up too fast after an episode can cause nerve damage, so it's a very slow process. I have to usually take off my gloves or socks (contrary to what you would assume) and put them under a blanket while gently massaging the feeling back into them.

What I believe is more important than the physical symptoms, however, is the way I have had to mold my life around this condition. When I got my first job, right after my diagnosis, I was humiliated when I tried to tell my boss I could no longer take the trash out because it was too cold for my disease, and he thought I was making excuses and almost wrote me up in front of everyone there. I had to have my doctor fax them a note telling them I wasn't making it up (but I don't think they ever fully believed me). I then had to tell them I couldn't be in the freezer or work the drive-thru unless they gave me gloves. I have to take daily medicine to expand my arteries from November to April every year, but still have to be careful, because my body can easily become tolerant to the medication.

I have to figure out a way to get a ride or take the bus everywhere on campus during winter, and if I can't (usually I feel like a nuisance and try to tough it out), I have to get to class at least ten minutes early so that I can warm myself up. In fact, I have to do this everywhere I go. Sometimes I skip class just to stay inside. I can't play in snow ever again for more than a few minutes. I can't even hold cold drinks for the time it takes to walk from the car to my house. I have to either miss out on or leave early from outdoor events. I have to explain to every friend that I make that I don't want to go out in December or that they need to walk faster for me to get inside, and I have to prove to them with my lifeless extremities that I'm not just being a bitch about the cold. I can't hold a pencil in the same position too long or wear too fuzzy of socks with most of my shoes. I can't cook with raw meat without taking breaks every ten minutes. Sure, it's not the worst, but it's definitely influenced every part of my life.

Yes, I know that this is not the most serious of issues that I could have. Sure, it's not life-threatening, but it is chronic, and I am going to have to continue to over-bundle and disappoint employers for the rest of my life. This is considered a pretty common condition, but no one seems to know about it until I bring it up. So from now until April, if you see me clenching my fists and walking too briskly, wearing too many layers, or taking off my shoes, you won't have to wonder how crazy I am. Really, I'm just cold.