For the longest time, I let the words of other people dictate what I would do with my life. I let their choices and actions decide what I was going to do with my life, rather than making my own. I can't remember the exact moment everything changed, but one I did- my life has been full of my choices and not anyone else's.

It was back in middle school that someone else first had control over my choices. I kept my hands down in class, and my nose in the books to keep myself hidden from the people that would make comments during class. I planned my trips in the hallway and to my locker to avoid the people that took fun in mocking me. I would watch during lunch to see if it was safe to go to the restroom to avoid the girls that would throw things at me while I was in the stall. My life at school became a system of actions that in my mind kept me out of harm's way. The choices and actions of others became the way I lived my life so I could avoid them.

As I got older, the grasp of societal standards and expectations grew stronger over my life. How I viewed my life, my body and my self image became dictated by our society around me. I was trying to meet the expectations that so many young people feel that they have to meet. Society had a grasp over me, and it wasn't letting go.

Growing up, friends come and go. And I knew that to be true once I was older. I had friends that were making poor choices with their lives, that then became the choices I was making with my life. I had classmates that were becoming reckless, and I became tangled in. Once I had thought this was all behind me, I opened up again to the people I thought were becoming friends. Their choices to turn on me, and where our supposed friendships ended- made me make the choice to fill out transfer applications to new colleges.

It was at this point in my life, at 20-years-old, where I finally was figuring all of this out. It was time that I took responsibility for MY choices. And didn't allow the choices of others, or society make them for me. I for once wanted to take back the control over my own life.

At 21-years-old, I've learned a lot.

I've learned that the toughest moments in your life, help make you the way you are.

I've learned that sometimes, people do shitty things-- but sometimes I do too.

I've learned that letting other people have control over my life makes me feel a deep, dark, terrible feeling.

I've learned that sometimes things don't always seem fair-- but in the end work out in the right way.

I've learned that holding grudges never works out in the end.

I've learned that sometimes, you swallow your pride and become the bigger person.

The lesson here is, surround yourself with people that encourage you, that support you, that push you, that inspire you that want you to do better. The choices that they make, will be the choices you want to make. Not because you feel you have to, not that you feel pressured to, but because the positive will make you want to.

Learn from my mistakes, learn from my tough lessons. Release the grasp that others have over you, and your choices. You are an important, smart and capable human being. Live the life that you want for yourself, and the choices you want, will follow.