I am a blunt person, like to the point where I could be somewhat considered as heartless (key word: somewhat). I have gone through many things in life like moving six hours from home, totaling my car, and almost losing my mom due to an illness at 18. I started going out on my own when I decided to get a job the day I turned 16 and then preceded to work nonstop until I went to college with two jobs at once during my senior year. So please note that people consider me somewhat 'independent' and as an 'adult', but I honestly laugh at the people who say they think this way of me. I can say that I do not have my life even remotely together and that is okay.
I was not the type of person to sit around and be bored during most days through out the year. I was involved in bowling, marching band, dual enrollment, and then my actual high school classes with a job on the side. I felt like I was big and bad so I was ruling over my peers thanks to this ego boost. I honestly thought I could juggle it all, but poor 16/17 year old me was so naïve. Once I quit the majority of the things that took up my day to day life, I honestly had to focus what I was going to do with my life post high school, and that is the most frightening thing that I had ever had to do.
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When I graduated high school, I swore by the Bible that I was going to be a cardiothoracic surgeon because the heart was my favorite organ and I wanted to call myself 'The Queen of Hearts'. I was a corny person, do not judge me. This is what I chose and what I decided I was going to college for, so goodbye to twelve years of my life! When I encountered my sweet Judson College, I fell in love with every thing and got caught up in the fever of college. I wanted to join anything and everything while still taking my first of many biology classes with a man who defined the word "blunt." After a month or two, I could not pass his tests to save my life so I dropped the class and changed my major, all the while me and him had a crying session which resulted in a respect that was formed. The rest of my freshman year was literally me jumping from major to major and trying to figure out what I wanted in life. I can promise that this caused my weekly crying sessions with my then roommate and a lot of migraines.
Even though I could not figure out what I wanted to do and had to change my life long profession a million and one times, I learned something about myself that impacted me. I learned that even though I did not have my life even remotely together that I would live and it was okay. This was the hardest for me to accept due to not wanting to disgrace my family's name and always needing to have life planned out, but I finally accepted that I needed to take a breather and accept what was going on. I have a life that is not together and it is perfectly okay because I am alive with a somewhat pretty face and funny personality.
