My Life as an English Major | The Odyssey Online
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My Life as an English Major

I survive on coffee, classics, and comfy sweaters

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My Life as an English Major
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I've only been an English major for a little longer than a year, but here are a few reasons why I know, in my heart, that I'm right where I belong.

1. Books are my life. I become personally attached to them, and sometimes I just buy them to hold.

2. I spend a great majority of my life within the walls of various coffee shops.

3. I don't have to study for tests, but I do spend 23 hours of the day reading literature and the other hour analyzing what I just read.

4. When I visit a new city, the first thing I want to see is their independent bookstore. If they don't have one, I will leave that city.

5. If I make a grammar or spelling mistake in a paper, I feel like a complete and utter failure that doesn't deserve anything but darkness.

6. I'm picky about my pens.

7. I must have a notebook with me at all times. Otherwise, I feel naked and scared and alone.

8. No, I don't want to become a teacher.

9. No, I'm also not sure what I want to do with that yet.

10. I get very sad if my books get bent in my backpack, and I try to mend the wound by piling my other books on top of them.

11. I go back and forth between pretending I'm being interviewed about my latest novel and staring at my laptop thinking that I have no talent or skill or prospects or future.

12. When my friends use the wrong form of a word, I briefly consider terminating my friendship with them because I don't know how much more pain I can endure.

13. I feel outrageously inferior to my peers when they bring up a book I've never read.

14. I want to create a device that will transport knowledge so that I can know all that my professors know because they are brilliant and I am not.

15. I do not enjoy math.

16. I like coffee. Too much.

17. I feel a great sense of pride when a professor brings up a book in class and I nod my head because I've read it.

18. I do not rent books. I shall not rent books. Unless it's more than $20. Then I shall rent the book.

19. I chose to take Latin because I want to learn about words.

20. If you ask me to proofread your paper, there is a good chance I'll hand you a completely new paper when I'm finished.

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