Dear Best Friend,

You're suppose to be here. Your grandma tells me that at least once a month. You were suppose to be at my wedding, making a fool of yourself on the dance floor, or sending me snap after snap saying "come home" or "miss you tons". You weren't suppose to go anywhere. I never thought I would live a life without you and I can honestly say it sucks.

I still remember when my parents told me and most of the time I still think this is just a bad dream that I am going to wake up from and we will be at bdubs laughing at something so dumb that only we would understand. It still a shock to me sometimes because I go to ask how you are and I stop myself. It's so weird and unnatural that I don't think I'll ever get over it.

You are that special person to me. That person that no matter what you'd be there if I needed you (even if it was a 3 hour drive from home to Rock Island, you'd do it in a heart beat). The person that even if we hadn't talked in awhile, it felt like nothing has changed. The person I grew up with reading rainbow fish, playing around and taking naps. Fridays were always my favorite because it was just you and I with whatever adventures we had in our imaginations. You were my pal, my best friend.

There are so many things I miss about you but I think what I miss is your spontaneity. Whether it was driving your car as fast as you could or just doing a back flip in the middle of the room because "why not". If I had a dollar for every time I tried to stop you from doing something crazy, I'd be a millioniare. You gave me a heart attack about half the time but I still love you. I can honestly say the thing I miss most about you is your heart. I don't how that huge heart fit inside you sometimes. You were willing to help anyone and everyone. There wasn't a time in my life when you didn't have everyone smiling. Even at hard times, you were the person getting everyone through it and I am so amazed by you.

Going through life without you, was not in my cards. I planned on us always being there for each other, but now most days I struggle because I just want an answer back to my text and I know its not coming. I struggle because I feel like I took our time for granted. That if I could go back, and hang out with you every day I was home from break... I would. No questions asked. Like I said before, You weren't suppose to go anywhere... You are suppose to be here.

I love you more than you know,

Molly