Well I’ve waited all summer to write an article on this topic, so I guess that it is appropriate to end this life changing summer with a subject that is a little more personal. Ever since I was in middle school, I have struggled with several issues however, there is one issue that I have always struggled with. This issue has always been a huge factor in most decisions that I make how I act, how I feel, and what I do and don’t do.
At this point I bet you’re wondering what could be such a huge issue in my life that affects me so greatly, yet I still struggle with on a daily basis. So, 10 years later I am finally able to straight out say, I have had the worst self-image of my body, personality, actions, and how others view me. As difficult as it is for me to admit it or even talk about this topic, almost every person at some point, has a terrible self-perception of how they look, act, or even interact with others, and for many, just like me, it is a constant lifelong journey.
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Now I know if you’ve met me you’re probably thinking this is complete B.S. Most people I come into contact with always tell me how put together they think I am and how self-confident I appear. I can 100% say with full honesty I am not put together at all, every day is a struggle and I am always working towards a goal that I may or may not eventually obtain. Every day comes with struggles that I never imagined I would have to deal with. (Shout out to Anna, Serena, Shell, and Evan for dealing with my daily breakdowns). Honestly though, even with these outer struggles that I usually don’t have control over, some days I seem to face more inner struggles than I ever dreamed could even be possible.
I started this article by saying this summer has been life changing for me and it truly has been. I’ve made so many new friends, tried a lot of different things, strengthened the relationships I already had, and I even improved on my relationship with myself. You’re probably wondering, “How have I improved on my relationship with myself? I mean prior to this summer I already knew literally everything about myself, so what is there to improve on?” Well as my dad always says you have to have a conversation with yourself to work through a problem or to make a hard decision. This summer I had to stop several times and ask myself why I had such a poor self-esteem or why I had such a poor self-image. (Okay I didn’t actually sit there and have a conversation out loud with myself, gosh I’m not that weird.)
After a few weeks I finally came to the conclusion that I was so self-conscious and so unhappy because I was allowing others to define what would make me look better or what would make me better liked. I then came to the conclusion that it didn’t matter what other people said, and that I would never truly be happy until I learned to love myself. After coming to this conclusion, I realized my attitude not only towards myself, but towards others as well completely changed. I began to improve on my daily habits and thoughts and I realized that even the smallest actions were changing my attitude entirely.
After this summer I have realized that I can’t let others and their actions or opinions control how I act or how I think about myself. Now, obviously all of my problems aren’t miraculously fixed just based on this one realization and acceptance, but it is truly a step in the right direction. Not only has how I view myself improved, but my relationships with all of my friends and even my family have completely improved.
While this summer truly has made me more confident and more prepared to take on what is coming my way, it has also made me realize how much I have cared about what others think about me. I was allowing what others thought of me to completely change my life and dictate my own opinion of myself, and that in itself is very dangerous. What is even sadder about this is the fact that I am definitely not the only one who is too concerned about what others think about them or about what society says. In fact, in today’s society most people choose to do things based upon what others think is “cool” or what others think is best.
The path that our society is headed on is a very dangerous one. As a society we are letting our individual identities mold into one cohesive unit and when that happens, individuals begin to doubt themselves and begin to become very unhappy. This ultimately leads to more people with terrible self-esteems and terrible self-image issues.
I truly challenge everyone, even if just for a short time, to test the waters, to not care about what others think, and to begin to rediscover yourself and even what makes you unique. I hesitantly embarked on this self-rediscovery journey this summer, and it is one of the best things that could have happened to me. While it definitely wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine, it really helped me find a sense of self happiness and self-acceptance that I never imagined I would reach. Find what makes you unique and different and embrace it, I promise it can bring a sense of joy and self-peace that you never imagined possible, it did for me anyway. As I always say, if you aren’t unique or even a little weird, then you’re probably boring, and who actually wants to be boring?
