On Election day, I just posted random jokes on my timeline because I knew that folks were getting ready for the purge. People were panicking for no reason and I had no choice but to use my sarcasm and dry humor to make America laugh again. It was crazy a lot of things went through my head. Some serious and some not so serious. I started the night with over 1,800 Facebook friends and ended with a couple extra. I am living proof that America loves sour patch kids like myself. First I’m a savage and them I’m sweet. That’s just little old me. I am not political; in fact, I don’t have a political bone in my body. If I was president I would legalize weed mainly because I never had a weed head steal my toaster and try to sell it back to me. I make higher education free because stupid people are dangerous so maybe we should make sure everyone has the resources to be smart. Homeless folks should get shelter and poor folks should have the opportunity to make a living. See what I did there? I didn’t say give them money I said give them a chance to make their own money. To me this seems easy I know it’s not as easy as it looks but I don’t have to look at it the complicated way because I don’t want to. Before I list my pure opinion about what has been going on I need to say a disclaimer. Do not use this article for your research paper, you will fail. There are no facts in here just the thoughts of a fly kid trying to survive being black in America. Don’t over think what you read here. It’s not meant for that just hear me out. If you disagree with me I’m cool with different strokes for different folks. If you are racist and reading this, I’m ok with that just be a traditional closet racist cause if you come out of pocket I will be force to clap back and then these nice people won’t let me write form them anymore so be cool. I would also like to remind my readers that you asked for this, I was going to do my “Just Got Paid” playlist but I guess it must wait for the next check. Well here goes nothing. These are my thoughts of the election:

1.The Result – People were upset the Trump won. I was upset that after he got president folks without a passport were swearing up and down that they were just moving to another country. That not how this works. I was upset that a dead Gorilla had like 11,000 votes. Really guys? You threw away the chance to pick the new leader of the free world for the dead gorilla. There are murals, statues, and candles for that type of stuff. If people are mad that Trump is President maybe they should have made a more educated vote. People were throwing fits like a toddler all over the nation it was terrible.

2.Voting – There was a lot of discussion around who voted and why or why not. I personally do not believe one bit that my vote made a difference. So why vote you ask? Well I am an African American woman who is also a member of one of the best sororities in the World Delta Sigma Theta. If you look back in history, you will see that Delta has been heavily involved in the world of politics in hopes to one have an equal world. In 1913 my sorors participated in the women’s suffrage march and the Voting Rights Act of 1965 are the main reasons that I voted. People fought and some died for my right to vote so whether I believe in it or not that is reason enough for me to do some research and cast a vote. I refuse to not let those people die in vain. This was my reason however some folks didn’t vote because they felt that there was no on to vote for. To each their own.

3.Religion – I say this all the time, black folks love that religion. Before some of you call me a heathen I grew up going to church. Then I stopped going once my mom and grandparents stop making me go. Then I went back after I did my own research as an adult. Then me and Black Jesus had a little falling out so I stopped going for little while. Recently we had a talk and I started going back last Sunday. That’s how me and my faith work. After this election, the African American community will run to the alter to ask God “why”. We all know since slavery black folks will run to that religion. Only about 8 million people will understand this reference but in “Birth of A Nation” part of the story is that Nat Turner was prophet to the slaves and a preacher. Yes, prophets and preachers are different to me. Anyway, there was a time where the slaves at other plantations were getting kind of unruly. I guess they were tired of being slaves so their owners went to Nat’s owner and paid him to bring Nat to “preach” the importance of obeying their master so that they can get in heaven. Basically, he was forced to read parts of the scriptures out of context to make it seem like they needed to obey their human master to please their spiritual master. I feel like with the outcome of the “summa Christians” will be in full effect. A “summa Christian” is a Christian that is a Christian some of the time. They treat their faith like a magic genie. I just want those types of Christians to know that you can’t “wish” Trump away. Looks like most the voters prayed to the Kenny G Christmas album looking Jesus. Dude is President now and that’s it. We just should take things one day at a time now.

4.I may have to make a new playlist - With all these people so scared of the outcome it had me shuck for a while. I know what you are thinking “really Kia, you need a playlist to panic”. Listen people have been taking this to the extreme. Saying that we all need to go back to Africa and that Trump is going to bring back slavery, I just thought that well if this is going down I can pick cotton without a Negro Spiritual Playlist! I have no experience in this I would need to get in the mind set if this goes down. My grandma use to sing this song by Merle Haggard and it fits. “Yesterday’s gone sweet Jesus and tomorrow may never be mine. So, for my sake teach me to take one day at a time”. It’s not necessarily a negro spiritual but it still fits the situation. I told yall I have a song for almost everything.

5.People – This election brought out the worst in people. That one quiet coworker came to work that Wednesday walking in front of people without saying excuse me. Folks became the biggest thugs on social media speaking their truth. They want us to just deal with it and treat Trump with the respect that he deserves as president. Oh, like Obama was treated for the past 8 years? I like how folks have selective eye sight when it comes to race relations in America. Every riot that is started is the result of the Black Lives Matter Movement and a KKK rally is a peaceful gathering. I need to just get over Trump is president and if I don’t like it I can go back to Africa. Only there is one problem, I can’t go back to a place I have never been. People are just hating each other for no reason this reminds me of the scene in the movie “The Kings Men” where everyone started going crazy when that signal went off.

6.Weed – Weed is legal in more states now. I think that it’s a strategy to just keep us high while this thing blow over. Like I said earlier, I have no problem with weed heads they’re my homies. A weed head has done nothing to me but eat my snacks. Apparently, that is a side effect.

7.Taxes – I heard that Trump wants to do away with the government assistance. Do this mean that they will stop taking so much taxes out of my check? I personally think that they should regulate welfare and such. I don’t believe that it should go completely because there are people that need it. I just think that there need to be something in place to keep people from taking advantage of it. I am sick of seeing folks with new cars and hair for 4 months fake ballin with refund checks that I feel come from my checks. My tax refund ballin consist of adding cheese to my value meal.

So, what did I think about the election? I think that it has a lot of people being dumb and they need to just chill and live life. I will miss the Obama family; you can hate on him all you want but he was a decent president and did more than what you think. Michelle is one of my favorite first ladies. Before her the only other first lady I liked was Jackie Kennedy. The White house will never be this “lit” again. I am glad that we have a plethora of Joe Biden memes to get us through this tough time. I only have one request from you guys out there. Please don’t let one weird looking dude with his tracks showing make you act out of character. I understand everyone’s concern but these hateful people you have now labeled “Trump Supporters” did not just pop up with the election. They been here, chillin just waiting for something to hide behind while they sling hate speech. They were here before Trump and will be here when he’s gone. He should not have that type of power over the way these folks are behaving. However, I am happy to report that this is one thing you cannot blame gangsta rap. There, my one and hopefully only political piece for those who requested it. Enjoy life show these folks how to live without hating one another. In the words of my mentor who don’t know he my mentor Spike Lee “Peace… two fingers”.