When you get your heart broken, the feeling is unbearable. You feel it everywhere. It literally eats you alive and it seems like there is nothing you can do it get over it. You lie to yourself. You wait around for him to come running back to you and for him to tell you he was wrong and that you're the love of his life.

You reread through old texts and try to find out where things went wrong. You try and convince yourself that maybe if he has some space, he'll realize that you're the one for him. You keep holding on in hopes that things will change.

You cry. You cry until your room is flooded with tears. You don't leave your room because no matter how much you try, no amount of makeup can cover up the pain.

NyQuil becomes your best friend even though when you take it, you still can't manage to sleep long enough. When you close your eyes, he's the first thing you see. Even in your deepest sleep, you wake up and find yourself reaching for him. Then, you cry some more.

After weeks of stalking him and his girlfriend on social media, you try to move on. You download dating apps and go to parties. You drink until you think you've washed his name out of your mouth. But, the guy you end up making out with doesn't taste like him, so you shove him off of you.

You look for him in every guy you meet. You can't be intimate with anyone unless the lights are off because even after all the pain and the hurt, his body is still the only one you want to be undressed under. You wake up the next day feeling as if you've cheated on him even though you know damn well that he didn't think about you last night. You drag yourself home, climb into bed fully dressed, and cry yourself to sleep.

Months pass by and you finally stop talking about him to your friends. They don't know that you STILL dream about him. You're getting better about not reaching for him in your sleep. Mainly, because you've only slept about 2-3 nights this week, but still! Out of those three nights, you only reached for him maybe once or twice. You've also cut back on how much you cry. The crying has died down to maybe two to three times a week.

Some days, you just stare at the ceiling and listen to "Drown" by Front Porch Step until you fall asleep. You cry way less and you reach for him less. The only place he really exists is in your memory... Until one day, someone asks you about love and you immediately blurt his name out. You tell them about the love you had for him as if it was just yesterday that you were telling him that you loved him. You speak so highly of him as if you still love him...

You go home, stare at the ceiling while you listen to "Drown" by Front Porch Step, and you cry. Why? Because deep down you still love him... I still love him.