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Politics and Activism

My Future Comes First

My success comes before starting a family.

Baylie Clevenger

May 21, 2018

Ball State University

Pexels

Something that I am entirely sick of hearing is about how I will change my mind about wanting kids one day.

"That's what I said when I was your age."

"Everyone says that."

"You'll change your mind!"

I do not even like children, nor do I wish to have any. If that changes in the future then so be it but stop expecting me to want children just because I am a woman. I have never heard this same complaint from my male counterparts so why must I have future plans that include children?

I cannot stand it. Right now, what is incredibly important to me, more so than anything else, is my future.

I am halfway through a degree in Journalism and another in Women's and Gender Studies. I also have future plans to go to law school. Right now, most of my twenties are going to be spent getting an education.

With living on my own, working a part-time job, working on a double major and trying to live my college life to the fullest, the last thing on my mind is reconsidering my plans for my future for children that do not even exist.

I do not wish to play into the idea of a family with two kids and a white picket fence. Not that that does not sound great and all, but I think it should be okay for me to have other plans.

I want to finish my degrees and travel and get a place in the city of my choice and live the life I want to live and make choices for myself without societal expectations getting in the way of what I want to do.

It is okay to want to do things in an unorthodox manner and my future is more important than what some people may expect me to do with my future.

Even if I do decide I want children, then I will adopt them. I have been adamant about the idea of adopting children to which I have heard "But don't you want them to be YOURS?"

This is also a horrible question to ask because that implies that all people who adopt are not the real parents of their children and also that all people who are adopted are not the real children of their parents.

Stop telling young girls what they need to do with their future just because that is what is expected of them.

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My Future Comes First

My success comes before starting a family.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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