Unsure of where I wanted to go, not feeling like I belonged; little freshman me was just solely confused.
Around December of 2016, I looked into transferring from Clarion University of Pennsylvania to The Pennsylvania State University. Both universities are rather different from the other, and I liked the thought of that. Always being on edge, and close-knit with my peers, I felt that Clarion was a good size for me and had a nice campus. As my freshman year went on, I began to question my decision. I saw how much fun all my friends were having at their big universities and all the events they got to participate in and I got really upset.
During my first semester as a freshman at Clarion, I filmed the school's sporting events with the campus' news station, Eagle Media Productions. I loved every single second of that. Unfortunately, it didn't take up much time throughout my semester(s). Sports slowed down, therefore my participation within the university receded. I felt as though there was nothing for the university to offer me, other than the news station, of course. Outside of class, I did nothing. I started to wish that I could have class more because I liked it and felt like I sort of belonged there.
In high school, I was heavily involved with all sorts of things, such as: art club, cheerleading, choir, show choir, plays, musicals and going to as many sporting events as my schedule would allow. Back then, you would rarely find me at house; I was constantly trying to keep busy and make as many memories as I could. So when I was constantly "bored" in college, I got upset. That's not what college should be. You always hear how "college is the best time of your life." After having an amazing four years in high school, I thought there was no way I would enjoy college.
Just then is when my mind began to go all different ways. I applied to Penn State, and eagerly checked the website every.single.day. for that acceptance letter. At the end of February, I checked the website like any other day, and then I saw it, "WE ARE PENN STATE," along with a congratulatory letter of acceptance. I was ecstatic; I felt so proud of myself. However, my family was not 100% supportive, they had a feeling of what God had in store for me, but I just could not believe that staying another semester at Clarion was it. I toured Penn State, met the advisors and professors and fell in love with the campus. During this process, not a single day was easy. Right around the same time I received my acceptance letter, my grandfather got admitted into ICU.
For months following, I spent every second I was not in the classroom with him at the hospital. I thought to myself that there was no way, absolutely no way, we would lose him. While I was with him, I learned so much in those three months. The main one being, that no matter what I'd do in life or where I'd go he, and God, would believe in me, but I had to believe in myself first. In that moment I knew I had a purpose in life, and although I was confused, I would find it.
After my grandfather passed away in April, I knew that I couldn't give up. I couldn't give up at Clarion, my job there wasn't done. I began to reapply myself to the organizations on campus and keep busy. The year ended quickly, but I sure did go out with a bang. I had applied to become a Community Assistant on campus and before the year ended I got accepted. I confirmed the job and began to fill out paperwork and clearances soon after.
Summer then came and I was so happy to be back with my friends and family. It was like a nonstop reunion seeing all my friends and hearing about all their new colleges experiences. However, summer went by way too fast.
August 5 came before I knew it, and that meant move-in day. I was so excited to start my new chapter in life. The beginning was training, all the need-to-knows about campus, residents and the policies. Towards the end of training, I felt so close with not only my staff, but the CA's across campus. We were able to do a team bonding exercise, which was a ropes course.
Below is a video of all the friends I have met in such the short time I've been a CA; I could not be more blessed.
