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My First Holiday Without You

Three years ago, at Mom's house, would be our last Thanksgiving picture together.

Taylor Digman

Dec 04, 2018

University of Wisconsin, Madison

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Taylor Digman

Look how happy we are. I never thought about this day until I had no choice. The day before Thanksgiving and we are making plans of what the day will consist of. I have no choice but to realize that tomorrow when I am surrounded by family, you won't be there. You will be in heaven watching down on us.

I find it very hard to think about what I am thankful for when all I want is for you to be here too. I am very thankful though that I had 18 years and 11 months with you. I have memories with you no one else will ever have. I have one awesome angel watching over me every day.

When it comes to standing around the entire family and listening to everyone say what they are grateful for, jobs or family, I have to hold tears back. Don't get me wrong I love my job. I get to work with kids all day. What could be better? What I struggle with hearing is family. Yes, I love my mom, dad, step-mom, and sisters. My family is broken though. My family just doesn't feel complete without you standing in the circle with us. So instead of family, I say that my parents could give me really awesome siblings. That is something I am and will forever be grateful for. My mom and dad gave me you, Ty.

I think about all the holidays to come and I know Christmas will be the hardest one for me. That is the last family picture I will ever have with you. My heart breaks that I will never get that moment back. I am haunted by the thought of family pictures now, but I know at some point I will move past that.

We both know that holidays in our family are filled with a lot of driving from Mom's to Dad's, laughs, loud music, food, and a lot of love. I wish you were still here to experience that with us, but I hope you enjoy the holidays in heaven!

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My First Holiday Without You

Three years ago, at Mom's house, would be our last Thanksgiving picture together.

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The world is not always sunshine and rainbows, and you do not have to be, either.

It would be so much easier to just pay someone to do it for you

1. Figuring out when to start

2. Searching through list after list to get everything you need

3. Shopping for deals

4. Getting bins to put everything in

5. Figuring what you can’t live without

6. Going through clothes to find what you need

7. Finding out your siblings took something from you

8. Fighting with your parents.

9. Trying to plan things with your roommate

10. The fear of forgetting something

11. Move in day

Relatable moments from one of the best shows I have ever watched.

1. When you fail that midterm you studied so hard for.

2. When your crush finally texts back.

3. When payday comes around.

4. When you accidentally like someone's picture from 108 weeks ago.

5. When someone takes your unassigned assigned seat.

6. When your favorite character in your favorite TV series dies.

7. When that guy/girl you’ve been crushing on agrees to go on a date with you.

8. When you have so much to do, and such little motivation to do it.

9. When someone asks for your last fry.

10. When you try a new health-food craze.

11. When you get new clothing.

12. When you check your bank account.

13. When they're serving good food in the dining hall.

14. When someone tries to tell you what to do.

15. Or just your thoughts about life in general.

We all have that "I don't care" attitude.

1. Most students just take life day by day.

2. That means procrastinating, one day at a time.

3. College students don't mind dressing like crap sometimes.

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12. And eat pizza for every meal.

13. And stab the next person who asks us what we want to do with our life.

14. However, despite the stress and student loans, college is amazing and there's plenty of reasons to smile.

Thank you, April, for inspiring us with your wicked relatability.

Life is full of twists and turns, but you have to keep going.

1. Wallow.

2. Cry.

3. Get Angry.

4. Tell Someone You Love Them.

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9. Stop Freaking Out Over Your Body.

10. Say No.

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