The day I have been waiting for is finally here. The day I've been working toward for the past five years. The day when I walk across the stage, shake a man's hand I've never met before, and finally receive my diploma (weeks later in the mail, but a faux version will do for now). I'll throw my cap in the air and say goodbye to classes, syllabi, professors, fellow classmates, tuition, and homework.
120+ credits, thousands of dollars (and then some debt), hours upon hours of homework and studying, cup after cup of coffee, and an endless amount of breakdowns later - I will finally graduate. FINALLY.
To all the professors who pushed me, supported me, and reassured me that I was going into the right field - thank you.
To all the professors who made it very clear they were uninterested in teaching any useful information - you owe me my money back.
To all the people in my group projects and group papers who did nothing besides expect the group to carry them - thank you for showing me that I can handle more than my fair share of work. Also, you suck.
To the counselor that told me not to do an internship - you were sadly mistaken.
To that one person in each class I bonded with over assignments - thanks for making the class more bearable.
To every single breakdown I had from when I first started to now - I can't say thank you, but I will say you were much needed during times of complete despair.
To coffee and dry shampoo - thank you for being the real MVP's throughout my college career. I couldn't have done it without either of you.
To FAFSA and the financial aid office - screw you. Spoiler alert: not everyone's parents pay for their education.
To my bank account - I apologize.
To myself - you've grown in ways you would have never imagined. You've endured struggles you never thought you'd have to bear. And more will come. They always do. But, you will survive. Always.
A month ago, I reached the point of no return. I was sucked into a black hole from hell and I let it swallow me completely as I looked on and saw nothing but darkness. For the past five years, I knew exactly what came next - another semester of classes, another semester of homework, another semester of similarity and familiarity. For the first time in five years, I have no idea what comes next. I allowed this to frighten me, depress me, stress me. I let myself sink into the dark nothing that comes with fear, and I cried. I allowed myself to freak out with no end date.
Now, I'm ready. For what? I have no idea. But, I'm ready. I'm excited. I'm exhilarated. I'm motivated. This is the moment I've been working toward for the past five years, this is the stepping stone I've needed to be on my way. I'm ready to jump to the next stone and see what's ahead. I may teeter or totter or even fall, but I will find my balance again. I will work toward living my dream, and I will allow my dreams to change as I do. I will grow in ways I'll never expect, just as I have grown in ways I didn't know I could from just five years ago, or even a year ago.
There is a world beyond a classroom, and for the first time since I was five years old, I will experience it. The opportunities really are endless - it's just a matter of how brave I am. Am I brave enough to take the leap? Or just a little hop? Either way, I'll be moving forward, forward toward my goals, my wants, my desires, my dreams.
From the very first penny five years ago, down to the very last penny now, I have paid my way through my education wholly on my own. I pushed myself, I motivated myself, and I persevered for no one else but myself. I did this for myself, from start to finish. I'm proud of myself. This is the biggest accomplishment in my life so far, but it won't be my last. Like I said, this is merely a stepping stone on the way to my dreams, but a stepping stone I will gladly take full pride in. I'm stronger than I know in more ways than I knew were possible.
I will walk out of my last class and breathe a sigh of relief, a sigh of success, a sigh of pure happiness. One accomplishment down, many more to go. I'm so excited for what this life will bring me.
Graduation finally is here. Finally.
