Have you ever started to feel nauseous when a memory of a certain person pops into your mind? You know – that “butterfly” feeling that everyone talks about. Have you ever stared in admiration at a person sitting across from you as they ramble on and on about the absolute epitome of boringness? Or how about when your phone buzzes and time suddenly stops and before you check to see who it is, you say a little prayer hoping it’s a certain name that will appear?

Yeah, love is pretty weird.

It’s just one of those unique things that feels different for every single person and cannot be defined by societal norms or space or time. Love just is.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing more than a child’s knowledge of love, but I do believe I have felt it – really, truly, wholly, felt the embrace of love in my life.

But I want to pose a question –

Who the hell cares?

Like almost everything else in a person’s lifetime, that too vanishes without clarity. I was in the seventh grade when I had decided I’d found the love of my life. Of course, that only lasted two years.

Love is not the end-all-be-all that people make it out to be. Have you ever felt the warmth on your body from a bath that completely engulfs the aches of your frail form after the shittiest of days? How about the feeling of blissful sorrow that enters your heart as you read the final words of your favorite novel? Or even better – feeling the sting of tears on your dry cheeks as your favorite film plays its final score and rolls through the credits?

Within my short nineteen years of life, the love I have found for myself and the pleasantries of everyday life far surpass any feelings a stupid boy (or girl) could have given me.

I fear that in today’s society we have conditioned our young people to view love as the most precious gift you can be given. We have stories like Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet” and Green’s “The Fault in our Stars” that literally revolve around the fact that people would rather be dead than live a day without love. I don’t know about you – but I want to be teaching my children that self-love is the most important thing you could ever have in a lifetime. That having morality and a good conscious is what makes you a desirable person, rather than whether or not you banged Becky/Brad after senior prom.

So – I propose new times. Times when kids focus on their homework, their family, God, and all of the things of importance that have more than a few months of impact. Let us teach those around us that there is so much more to be than merely something that is “loved.” Let us instead show admiration at the strong independence of a person that cares for themselves rather than settling for a place holder.