Dear 2018,

You really tested me.

You brought me up and down more than any roller-coaster ride could attest for.

You moved me around about six or seven times as I can somehow just thrive without stability. You played me your hand of cards, and they were the opposite of steady, happy, and hopeful. For that, you scared me more than anyone or anything ever possibly could have, and trust me, no one will replace you for that one.

You repeated my past then laughed at my face about it. My recurring nightmares became real once more, just for you to make sure I was ready to accept it and move on from my trauma. You mocked me in such a way, and I have no respect for you.

You took one of the most important people to my family and me, and I will never forgive you for that. Broken hope and broken promises seemed to be your motto. Let me know how far you get in life with that outlook.

You put a shiny, beautiful dream in my life, I got so close I can taste it, only for you to rip it away. I'm glad you thought that was funny because I was a little concerned for my future. No big.

You've tested my faith in my career and who I even am. No matter how many times I built myself up, you came knocking on my door just to tear me back down. Never in my life have I encountered something so merciless.

You have, however, blessed me with a beautiful gift, that I can't open until 2019, so guess who will get the credit for that one?

Mark my words.

I know for a fact...

I will not let you destroy me the way I did 2017. You will not get the best of me, and the worst of me has been permanently laid to rest. So guess what — you get none of me.

You tore me down more than any year I've known in my young life, but you will not get away with having the last laugh. You have been victorious over me more than enough, and because of this, you have no idea the warrior you've created, and the one yet to come.

I do not condone your behavior 2018, and I do not forgive you. I will never be able to forget you, but you did NOT WIN.

This not the end of me, this is the beginning.