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My (Fake) Obituary

Why Not Live to Be 100?

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My (Fake) Obituary
Dave Leiker

The following was an assignment for my Public Speaking class at Washburn. It was awkward to write, but it turned into something a little bit... more. Let's see how much of this actually happens.


Andrew Joseph "AJ" Dome, celebrated actor, author, journalist and filmmaker, passed away on December 25, 2092. He was 100 years old.

AJ was born in Tucson, Arizona, on March 3, 1992. He moved to Kansas with his family at 2 months of age. As a young boy, he developed a healthy sense of adventure. Living in a rural landscape contributed to his psyche in ways he would only soon discover.

"When I was a little kid, my babysitter was a movie or TV show," he said in an interview six years ago. "My mother worked from home, but had her hands full. She'd pop in a movie or hand me the TV remote, and I'd be left to my own devices."

Not all of his time was spent indoors in front of a television set. He often scraped a knee reenacting a movie in his backyard. This sense of adventure and storytelling carried him through life. While a teenager, his family moved to Garden City, Kan., where he attended Garden City High School. In high school he excelled as a student reporter for "The Sugar Beet," Kansas' oldest student publication. He began forming his identity in Buffalo Broadcast System, where he received training for radio and television production. He forged relationships in BBS which lasted right up until his passing.

"I never thought I'd be around that long," AJ said. "I think I'm older than the rocks in the yard now."

AJ's other hobbies included those of an automotive ilk. He drove a 1960's model Chevrolet pickup truck for most of his life, because it "had a unique personality, like an old friend." A passionate automotive and motorcycle enthusiast, he collected over 100 vehicles throughout his lifetime, preferring those made during the 1960's and 70's. His favorite Triumph Bonneville motorcycle--gold and white, as featured in the film "Triple Aces"--currently resides in the Museum of Movies in the 21st Century in Torrance, Calif.

AJ got that love of cars and bikes from his parents. His father Mike was a skilled mechanic and tinkerer. His mother Rita was a seamstress, secretary, and artist. Both were avid adventurers, often choosing motorcycles and jeeps to explore the Rocky Mountains. Later, they toured the U.S.A. in their motor-home. The coffee table book, "The Geezer Tours," detailed their years of asphalt journeys.

After his parents' deaths in 2036, AJ's life ground to a halt. He suffered a bout of alcoholism for the next year, which almost killed him at least twice. In the summer of 2037, he checked out of rehab with a clean bill of health. His return to work was slow; he didn't jump back into movies for the next two years. In that time, he traveled the world and wrote a book, "To Hell and Back: A Boy's Tale." Subsequently, his travel diaries were published, and have sold over a million copies each.

"Writing that book was very therapeutic for me," he said. "Recovery wouldn't have been possible any other way."

AJ made his first real film in 2012, while attending college in Topeka, Kan. That film would lead to a healthy career both in front of and behind the camera. Even though he has five blockbusters to his name, he was said to have preferred smaller films, because they were "more intimate."

"You really get to know people on a smaller film," he said. "Everyone's multi-tasking, everyone's running around like chickens with their heads cut off… it's very invigorating for the right kind of person."

In the end, AJ remained calm and aloof. According to his family and friends, he didn't like stagnating.

"Humans are wired to continue thriving long after we should. I plan on doing just that."

"Shine on you crazy diamond." AJ Dome is set to be cremated on December 28, 2092. His ashes will be scattered in the Rocky Mountains, near Salida, Colorado. He is survived by a big family too numerous to mention here, including his faithful four-legged friend Mortimer the Mutt.

The Museum of Movies in the 21st Century will be showcasing AJ's films, books, and photography in a special month-long exhibit, starting on January 1, 2093. For more information, contact the museum: Museum of Movies in the 21st Century, 12056 Film Reel Boulevard, Torrance, CA 90503.

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