My dog is better than you.

He wakes me up with a slobbery kiss to the face.

His breath smells like the inside of a garbage can

and he has no sense of personal space.

My dog is better than you.

He’s a little clumsy and a basically just a goof.

When he thinks he hears something, instead of barking

like a normal dog would do, he just lets out a little “boof.”

My dog is better than you.

Sometimes when he sits he looks like a fancy old man

and even though there's 2 empty couches,

he sits on me simply because he knows he can.

My dog is better than you.

He doesn’t know how to play dead, roll over or shake.

He holds his leash in his own mouth when he walks.

He could really be described as your everyday fruitcake.

I know he doesn’t sound perfect, but after a long, hard day

coming home to my sweet little 70 pound Hoover

washes all the pain, stress, and tears away.

My dog is better than you.