An Open Letter To My Depression | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

An Open Letter To My Depression

After an exhausting six years, this is what I have to say...

70
An Open Letter To My Depression
Flickr

This could easily be considered hate mail. What I have to say to you is anything but pleasant and I don't have a problem telling you off. After nearly six years, I think it's time I put in my two cents. Lord knows you've given me everything you have for as long I can remember...

I have to start off by saying that I appreciate your persistence. Not many mental illnesses can lay dormant for days then have a full-fledged outburst at the worst possible moment. Not only that, but you will push and push at my consciousness until I let you break me apart. Props. Of course, I'm applying the utmost sarcasm to this statement as the last thing I feel towards you is appreciation. But still, props.

I suppose you may be wondering why I haven't written to you prior to now. Like I said, it has been six years we've been together and this has been long overdue. However, the problem I've faced time and time again is finding the exact words to say to you. I didn't want to come across as too aggressive nor did I want to sound defeated. I needed an in-between ground. Though I think that it has come to the point where I don't give a damn how I come across.

You have hurt me. You have driven away those closest to me. You have isolated me and tore me apart inside. So if I sound mad, it's because I am. You have kept me up into the late hours of the night making me ponder every aspect of my life. Forcing me to ask every question from, "What's the point?" to "Who would care?" You've driven me to mark my skin up with everlasting scars that I'll have to explain to my children some day. I'll have to carry you with me for the rest of my life. You've made the people I care most about have to worry about if I'll make it through another day. I can't be surprised by the fact that some people don't want to deal with us.

But that's not the worst of it. It's the fact that you don't exist to some people. It's the fact that to some, you are invisible and non-existent. How am I supposed to explain you to people if you aren't even real to them? And if I can't explain you to them... How do I get help? How am I not supposed to feel alone?

Luckily for me, though, I'm not alone. Granted you've been able to make me feel that way at times, I know that I'm not. While you've caused some to run away screaming, you've caused others to hold on tighter despite the breakdowns, the scars, and all of the rest. After six years, you've never ceased to terrify the hell out of me. Impressive as that may be, I'm more impressed by a completely different thing: the ones. The ones who've put up with it. The ones who've held me while you pushed me to my limits. The ones who've made me think that I'm more than what you make me think I am.

So the last thing I have to say to you is this: bring it on. Because if I haven't cracked now, I won't ever. I'm stronger than anything you could ever throw at me and I've finally realized that.

Sincerely,

K

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

28 Daily Thoughts of College Students

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

153
group of people sitting on bench near trees duting daytime

I know every college student has daily thoughts throughout their day. Whether you're walking on campus or attending class, we always have thoughts running a mile a minute through our heads. We may be wondering why we even showed up to class because we'd rather be sleeping, or when the professor announces that we have a test and you have an immediate panic attack.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Great Christmas Movie Debate

"A Christmas Story" is the star on top of the tree.

1478
The Great Christmas Movie Debate
Mental Floss

One staple of the Christmas season is sitting around the television watching a Christmas movie with family and friends. But of the seemingly hundreds of movies, which one is the star on the tree? Some share stories of Santa to children ("Santa Claus Is Coming to Town"), others want to spread the Christmas joy to adults ("It's a Wonderful Life"), and a select few are made to get laughs ("Elf"). All good movies, but merely ornaments on the Christmas tree of the best movies. What tops the tree is a movie that bridges the gap between these three movies, and makes it a great watch for anyone who chooses to watch it. Enter the timeless Christmas classic, "A Christmas Story." Created in 1983, this movie holds the tradition of capturing both young and old eyes for 24 straight hours on its Christmas Day marathon. It gets the most coverage out of all holiday movies, but the sheer amount of times it's on television does not make it the greatest. Why is it,
then? A Christmas Story does not try to tell the tale of a Christmas miracle or use Christmas magic to move the story. What it does do though is tell the real story of Christmas. It is relatable and brings out the unmatched excitement of children on Christmas in everyone who watches. Every one becomes a child again when they watch "A Christmas Story."

Keep Reading...Show less
student thinking about finals in library
StableDiffusion

As this semester wraps up, students can’t help but be stressed about finals. After all, our GPAs depends on these grades! What student isn’t worrying about their finals right now? It’s “goodbye social life, hello library” time from now until the end of finals week.

1. Finals are weeks away, I’m sure I’ll be ready for them when they come.

Keep Reading...Show less
Christmas tree
Librarian Lavender

It's the most wonderful time of the year! Christmas is one of my personal favorite holidays because of the Christmas traditions my family upholds generation after generation. After talking to a few of my friends at college, I realized that a lot of them don't really have "Christmas traditions" in their family, and I want to help change that. Here's a list of Christmas traditions that my family does, and anyone can incorporate into their family as well!

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

The 5 Phases Of Finals

May the odds be ever in your favor.

2331
Does anybody know how to study
Gurl.com

It’s here; that time of year when college students turn into preschoolers again. We cry for our mothers, eat everything in sight, and whine when we don’t get our way. It’s finals, the dreaded time of the semester when we all realize we should have been paying attention in class instead of literally doing anything else but that. Everyone has to take them, and yes, unfortunately, they are inevitable. But just because they are here and inevitable does not mean they’re peaches and cream and full of rainbows. Surviving them is a must, and the following five phases are a reality for all majors from business to art, nursing to history.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments