I always knew there would come a day that you would leave the nest. I knew you would soar and do great things. No matter how much I prepared myself for it, I was not quite ready. You used to rely on me for everything and slowly, over the years, you have become more and more independent. Seeing you in your very own apartment is proof of that independence. I thought it would be easy to watch you move into your own place and be excited for you to be on your own. Although I am happy for you, it was not as easy as I thought it would be. I smiled and told you how proud I was of you, but a part of me felt a little sad. The thought of you not being at home every night, or at least knowing where you are, is a hard pill to swallow.
I guess as a mom, the worrying never stops. I will still ask you who you are with, where you are going and when you will be home, even though you are not living under my roof. Try to be patient with me, because it makes me feel better knowing you are alright. When it does get a little annoying and you want to tell me to stop, remember that you will always be my little girl. Letting me know you are on your way home or that you made it into your apartment will certainly help me sleep better at night.
I want you to know that even though I worry, I do believe in you. I trust you. I only question you about who you are with and what time you will be home to make sure you are safe. The constant “what-ifs” are enough to drive a parent crazy. I know you will be alright, because you are a strong, smart, independent young lady, but occasionally a little reassurance will go a long way with me. So, let me know that you paid your rent, bought groceries, or that you had the oil in your car changed. Plus, won’t it feel good to tell someone that you are making it just fine? I want to always be that person. I will always be excited for you and proud that you are making it.
With all the worrying I do, I do not want you to have to worry, too. If you ever need help, do not be afraid or ashamed to ask for it. Everyone needs help from time to time. It is hard when you are just starting out and I understand that. I want you to be able to come to me any time for anything. The help I give you may not always be the way you want it, but help will be given nonetheless. Even though it is hard to watch someone struggle, I have learned that many times it is what they need. Never think I am neglecting you or trying to make you suffer. I will always have your best interest at heart. You are my first born child and I want nothing but the best for you. Lastly, we can both rest easy knowing you will be just fine. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 22: 6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” You have been raised to know God and you have him with you. If He is for you, who can be against you? (FYI- the answer is NO ONE).
I am proud of you Jacy-girl! You were my first true love and I know you will be fine. Just make sure that I am fine and call me every day!
