It happens too often.

I see someone at a restaurant or cafe ask if something is gluten-free, or perhaps ask for a gluten-free menu. People around them proceed to chuckle, roll their eyes, or make some sort of joke about our current society of "snowflakes" and how stupid our diet fads may seem. On occasion, I've even heard staff and chefs in restaurants make fun of the gluten-free lifestyle and how much of a hassle it is to abide by in the kitchen.

What people fail to understand is that many individuals don't choose to live gluten-free because they want to lose weight or seem trendy– they do it because they have to.

Gluten is a protein found in wheat, oats, rye, and barley. According to the National Foundation for Celiac Awareness, about 18 million Americans have a gluten intolerance, which prevents them from eating large amounts of gluten without feeling ill. Around 3 million others have it worse with Celiacs disease, which is a serious auto-immune disorder that has the capacity to completely destroy a person's small intestine, trigger other immune diseases, and even develop into stomach cancer if gluten is consumed over a period of time.

My nine-year-old brother, Michael, was diagnosed with Celiacs when he was just 2 years old. His allergy to gluten was so severe, his stomach was destroying itself– the gluten proteins had wrecked his villi (the small bodies along the stomach lining that allow for the absorption of nutrients into the body) and prevented him from obtaining vital nutrients from anything he ate. He became emaciated and weak, practically on the brink of starvation– his stomach distended and rib bones protruding under his skin. It was terrifying and disheartening to watch a once lively toddler degenerate to the point where he didn't even have the energy to get up and move around.

Lucky for Michael, we live in a world where gluten-free options are becoming more readily available. More restaurants and companies are offering gluten-free alternatives, many of which are free from harmful cross-contaminants, which can also trigger an allergic reaction. What does this reaction look like, you may ask? Though it varies among individuals, my brother gets flu-like symptoms and is bedridden until all traces of the glutenous substance have left his system. A few weeks ago he ate a single tater-tot that happened to have gluten in it and was sick for hours. A single tater-tot.

Though the step corporations have made in ensuring safe and proper options for our gluten-free friends, there is still a huge social misunderstanding of Celiacs and the gluten-free lifestyle in general. My brother is constantly offered snacks and treats at school, birthday parties, and restaurants that he simply cannot eat. While he is smart enough to ask beforehand and subsequently turn down anything that can harm him, parents and other adults look at him as if he's crazy or insist he eats it anyway. Believing that my parents must simply be raising him to be some sort of hippy granola-eating health enthusiast, they pass judgment on my brother and my family before even taking a moment to try and be understanding or appreciate his illness for its gravity. They don't understand that a single bite of that chocolate cupcake could have him tossing his stomach for hours.

There's an additional perspective to being somone who raises and takes care of a person suffering from Celiacs. Don't you think that my parents would love to let him have that cupcake? That we wish we didn't have to make him his own "special" food, desserts, and snacks for every social function and he didn't have to feel left out? Of course we do– we would if we could. So why judge people who bring or seek out gluten-free options? Why would you shame them for being supposed "health nuts" when they're just doing what they have to do to help my brother function from day-to-day without being sick? Moreover, wait staff and hosts should not treat their request for gluten-free menus or food preparation as an inconvenience– they're simply trying to make sure that you don't accidentally poison their child. They are doing what they need to do to help my brother survive, not to be pretentious.

The next time you decide to judge someone or assume they're simply being a "picky eater" for having to be gluten-free, please do your research and be a little more understanding. If we can take peanut and dairy allergies seriously, then gluten allergies should be the same.