I Don't Have a "Person" | The Odyssey Online
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I Don't Have a "Person"

I have sisters.

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I Don't Have a "Person"
Carlee Capece

Seeing these articles about one’s "person" confuses me. I understand the reference. I love Grey’s Anatomy, but I can’t relate. I think it is wonderful that people have such a close relationship with their best friend, but I don’t have a person and I never will. I have sisters. Yes, that is plural, and no, I do not mean to say “my people.”

My sisters are two of the most amazing women I have ever come to know and will ever come across in the span of my entire lifetime. These women are not biologically my sisters but it sure seems that way all too often. When I think of family I certainly think of my parents and my brother, but these girls are on that list without a ranking. They are my family. They have and always will be the ones I run to with heartache, loss, elation, and success.

Throughout high school, I encountered and dealt with heartache and internalized every thought, word, and action ever taken against me or others. I can’t say I was ever alone. I had my girls, one on each side just as I had found myself on one of their sides when they found themselves in the same situation. What these situations entailed I will neglect to mention as the subject would not matter. Rather, the support we have given each other is more valuable. I have to admit however that the trying times we have seen each other through are beyond meaningful and will stick with me until the day I die because even through times when our world was falling apart we stood in as the voice of reason to chant over and over “this too shall pass” until it did indeed pass.

I grew up to be a woman from a young girl with both of you by my side and it blows my mind to try to encompass all of the memories encased within our time of knowing each other. Nothing will ever mean more to me than stuffing our faces with Halloween candy as we pour our candy onto the carpeting of one of our houses and laughing hysterically at jokes about candy wrapped in tinfoil from Berwick. Now here we are, all at different colleges messaging each other daily in our group messenger complaining about the stressors of roommates, college, classes, family, and even finding something to laugh about in the midst of the major schism of being separated after years of being inseparable.

When I first moved into my dorm room and unpacked my things I found myself holding onto the picture of us. I understood very vividly that going to college would never be a “goodbye,” but rather a “see you later,” a quote my dad instilled in me since birth. Although I processed this practical saying, being separated from the other two-thirds of yourself is traumatic. I was alone and anyone I found myself trying to be somewhat friends with just did not measure up to the ones I called “sisters.”

All throughout high school teachers tried to brand onto my mind that the best people you will ever meet will be in college. I understand that we are only a month in, but I know this won’t be a reality for us. They were wrong, they didn’t know and will never know the closeness we possess. It does not matter to me whether or not people believe this prophecy because at the end of the day I’m still running to my phone to check if I have a call, text, or message from the girls I need the most. Those same people who may have met their “person” in college was not there for me when I was in tears on the floor of my dorm room drowning in thoughts of being separated from my sisters, the only people who I know could have picked me up out of my puddle of tears and pity to make everything negative vanish.

It is funny to call you both sisters as I consider myself a part of each of your families. Being at family get-togethers with you both is oddly amusing as I have never felt out of place in the slightest. I was supposed to be there just as you were always welcome to come through the threshold of my house without reservations or invitations. It was expected and I am glad we had such an understanding of comfort with each other and each other’s families. I have been in the company of both of your parents and siblings without you present and nothing felt odd, it felt right. I was part of your extended and adopted family as my parents certainly considered you both adopted and honorary children. In fact, they saw the value of our friendship and never ceased to say that we were the ones that make it out of high school as lifelong friends. Thank God we were those people because without you both I don’t know where I would be.

That brings me to my biggest blessing: being able to walk through either of your doors and knowing that whether it was a planned or unexpected visit, I was always welcome and questions were never placed around an aura of wondering why I was there. As I stated before, you both had seen me at my most vulnerable times as I saw you at yours. This made sense because you were both on speed dial when I was in my time of crisis or panic. You were the ones I wanted to talk to the most, I needed you then and I need you now.

It would be a travesty if I didn’t mention our horrible eating habits. Pizza, salt and vinegar chips, ranch fries, pizza, more pizza, cosmic brownies, sour patch kids, mashed potatoes, and ice cream. It is a surprise to me how we ever survived all of the food we ingested at one time. And yes, I am sorry to admit to my mother a lot of times, all of this was eaten at once. Later those nights I would find myself lying on the bathroom floor accepting my possible death due to overeating until I got the text “I am so sick, why did we eat so much?!” Wow, thankfully it isn’t just me!

It amazes me how many inside jokes and how many memories are bundled into the time we have been the closest people can be. Although I have a photographic memory, I find myself forgetting some of the most intimate times of play we have all shared as a triad because there are that many memories of bliss. These are the times that I long for the time machine due to the fact that time is still turning and will never stop. Thankfully, no matter how removed from these times and moments we all become, I know that no matter what, those memories will continue to be reproduced in new ways as well as continued on without haste or rigidity.

I know that out of the three I am the most passionate as well as the most emotional. That’s why I always think about the future our relationship has. I envision the ideal situation being as such like on the television show “Desperate Housewives” where all three of us live in the same cul-de-sac, but somehow I know that isn’t our exact future. I do know that our future simulates this fortune slightly. I know that both of you will be by my side on the day I say “I do” as well as the three of us are together through raising children. I know, an odd thought to make when we are freshmen in college (Let’s wait a couple years and get jobs first!).

The more I write the more I realize I would not pick anyone else to stand by my side through this ride we are on called life. No one I would choose more than the two of you to go to through heartbreak, death, loss, happiness, and success. You are both my first “go-to” whenever something outstanding occurs. Blessed am I because I know this won’t change.

In closing, I do not know if any of this will mean as much to you as it does to me. Thank you for always being by my side and for forgiving me when I might have been astray. I know I have forgiven you because there is nobody else on this planet that means more to me than the ones who have shown me so much loyalty, love, and trust; yes, they are the two of you. There are obvious flaws in our sisterhood. Fights we have had and arguments that were unnecessary. I get that and I am certainly not proud of them. I am however proud of the rebound we executed in response to these issues. But like biological sisters, it is normal. We fight, we say we hate each other, and then we pick up where we left off, it never happened. We apologize and we move past those angry times because we see that they are pointless and are an obvious detriment to something we hold value towards, love for one another.

I want you both to know that I love you both unconditionally, forever and always, and think about you daily. Whenever distance is between us, know that in my heart, no matter how much it is breaking, you are just as close as down the road. I do not care where this life takes the three of us but I do care where we go as sisters. I want you both to know that I am always proud of you for your accomplishments and find myself telling people about the two of you as if I am “that mom” pulling out pictures of her children. Yep, that’s how proud I am of the two of you. The fire you have inside each of you for humor, kindness, service and even your laziness is something I will forever find comfort in as you have been nothing less than sisters. Those attributes are attributes I hope to always see in you as your personalities are forever engrained in my memory as the best people I have ever known. Remember that whenever life is turning to a replica of what you believe is hell, I am here, without convenience, without payment, and without a second thought. I have your side, your front, and your back sides. That will never change. I am always on your team and am always rooting for you.

I love you both.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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