A few years ago, I read "13 Reasons Why." Little did I know how much can change in a few years and that the book I held in my hands would become a Netflix original series. I enjoyed the book back then, I enjoyed the thrill of what each tape would bring up next, or who it would bring up next. After I was done with the book, I stored it away and forgot about it until now. But this time, the whole premise of the book, the whole premise of the show, is different to me. Sure, the show is entertaining and sure Clay Jenson (AKA Dylan Minnette) is one of the most attractive, average looking kids out there, but the whole plot just doesn't sit right with me anymore.

For those of you who are not familiar with what the show is about, let me get you caught up. Hannah Baker was a girl who moved to a new town and a new school and then made some new friends who then turned into new enemies. Events perspired in Hannah's life that were not easy events, such as: bullying, rumors, being/ feeling alone, loss of friends, harassment, etc. These events eventually led up to Hannah killing herself, but before she did so, she recorded 13 tapes. On each of these tapes, Hannah's voice tells the subject just why he/she is listening to these tapes or that person is simply listening to each reason until it is his/her turn. Of course there are twists and turns and plot twists in the show, but you get the jist.

Now, my beef. Being someone who has tried to kill myself, I can see from Hannah's perspective. I understand being in the mindset of wanting to finish things off, I even understanding leaving things behind, like letters or a note, something like that. But that's not what Hannah Baker did. Hannah Baker blamed other people for her killing herself. Maybe that sounds harsh and maybe that sounds like I'm downplaying the things that she went through (even though she is just a character from a book and a show). The things that happened and the things that she witnessed or was a part of or knew happened were awful, but life is hard and people are mean. She's also in high school and none of that stuff is really going to matter when it's all over. Life is really hard, I was there, but even then, while there were people and events that led up to my decision, during me making that decision, throughout the decision, and after the decision, I didn't blame anybody else. I took and take full responsibility for what I tried to do. No one held me down, no one made me do it. It was all me. That's the biggest issue I have with the story, because Hannah Baker blames all of these people and while some of them are awful and they made her life a living hell, they didn't make her do anything.

I know there are other issues with the show that have been brought up, for example the glorification of suicide, but the above issue that it raises is probably one of my number one problems with it. I'm not downplaying suicide, I'm not saying they didn't contribute, it's just that it's a personal decision that stems from a bad place.

If you or anyone you know is experiencing depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, or anything that may put them in a situation where they are a threat to themselves or others, please contact help immediately.

National suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255