My Battle With Mental Health Finale: Don't Give Up | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

My Battle With Mental Health Finale: Don't Give Up

Never give up.

291
My Battle With Mental Health Finale: Don't Give Up
Days of the Year

Experts estimate that over 83 million people suffer from some form of diagnosable mental illness. Some call it anxiety. Some call it depression. Some call it bulls**t. The media romanticizes suicide attempts and self-harm because they make a touching story about someone overcoming struggles by finding “the one” or through some feat of their own strength. After all, this is America; go big or go home. Depression can’t be a slow loss of vibrancy in one’s life. Anxiety has to be crippling panic attacks in a public place. Getting help generally involves a straitjacket and padded walls. Or so the image goes.

I have anxiety, low self-esteem, and maybe depression. I have self-harmed in the past. My condition controls my life, and yet it does not. I still go to my classes. I have a 3.86 GPA. I can smile and say I’m doing ok. I can laugh, and sometimes even enjoy something for a few hours. I’ve never attempted suicide, never suffered an assault, never been institutionalized for my behavior. And yet I suffer on. I am not the person I want to be. I am lonely and incapable of being around people. I am not the poster child for any of the mental disorders I suffer from. But I am one of the 83 million.

And I matter. We all do.

I hear a lot of people say to those who are struggling with mental health issues: “It gets better.”

I hate that. I think it’s a gross understatement of the problem. I understand that it’s something that most that struggle don’t believe. Many people don’t think that it gets better, and so people say it to try to change their minds. It’s the thing that you’re supposed to say to give people hope.

But as one who has been told that it gets better, I find it to range from irritating to insulting. I understand that it can get better. Life has been good before. It can theoretically get there again. But that doesn’t reduce someone’s struggle. I should say it doesn’t reduce mine. I frequently respond to that with “If you tell a starving man that he will eventually eat, that does not nourish him.”

I’m sure it does get better. But in the three years since my central struggle for happiness started, it has not gotten better. It has changed a great deal, certainly. My central concern has shifted from “No one will ever love me” to “I will never love anyone.” My negative self-image has shifted from “You’re an unlovable piece of s**t who doesn’t deserve happiness” to “You’re a monster. Why can’t you love like you used to?” I have gone from isolated and lonely to surrounded by friends and still not happy. It has gotten different. But it hasn’t gotten better.

So I don’t say “it gets better.” I’m not nearly positive enough to say “it gets better.” Instead I say “don’t give up.” It’s succinct, and I think it gets the point across without undercutting the suffering of the individual.

“It gets better” is a sunny platitude muttered from the mouths of those who are not in the heat of battle. “Don’t give up” is something you can yell to your compatriots in the trenches of anxiety and depression and bipolar disorder and whatever s**t may be going on.

“Don’t give up” isn’t so much a constant sense of hope, as there are plenty of times where I lose sight of hope. But rather, it is a constant desire to keep moving. It is an overarching drive that says even if you lose sight of the light, you keep on pressing forward. You keep pressing forward because it is simply the right thing to do.

And even if you haven’t made it out yet, even if the end still isn’t in sight, you don’t ever give up. You don’t ever give up because there are friends and family and classmates and professors and teammates and roommates and casts and crews to whom you are uniquely special, and who love you. Some days that isn’t enough to make me feel happy or hopeful. But every day, it is enough to get me out of bed.

It is my hope that this series has inspired someone not to give up in their fight. And it is my hope that someday, when I’m ready to lay down my arms and give up the fight, with the shells exploding around me and the enemy closing in on all sides, that someone will be there to say to me:

Don’t give up. Never give up.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

2779
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

449293
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

21566
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Moana's Top 10 Life Tips

"Moana" is filled with life lessons that involve far more than finding true love as many other Disney movies do.

44584
Animated image of a woman with long dark hair and tattoos
StableDiffusion

1. It's easy to be fooled by shiny things.

Digital image of shiny gemstones in cased in gold. shiny things StableDiffusion

Tamatoa created a liar filled with shiny things simply for the purpose of tricking fish to enter and become his food. He too experiences a lesson in how easy it is to be tricked by shiny things when Moana distracts him by covering herself in glowing algae so Maui can grab his hook.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments