If it hasn't been made clear from my past articles or from knowing me in real life, I can be really sensitive and overdramatic-not in a gossipy, extra way, but in an introverted and introspective way. What I mean to say in normal human vocabulary is: I have a lot of feelings and I use writing to help me get it all out and to understand those feelings.
When I was younger, I used to journal a lot- a habit i picked up from my education at Athens Montessori School. It was a daily task that we had to do. Every morning, we'd get dropped off at school, hang up our backpacks in the home/classroom closet (the classroom was a remodeled home), take off our shoes, and get our morning journals from our cubbies. Usually, there'd be some prompt or question written on the board and we could take as much time as we want to write our answers and draw any accompanying pictures. Of course, the "graded" part of it was showing our journal entry to our teacher(s) and getting a star for our effort or creativity. That's what led to this weekly outpouring of thoughts and feelings in article format, in case you were curious.
Anyways, we'd have a journal for every single topic. We did complete worksheets too, but for all of our class subjects, we'd complete the work in a composition notebook and then write a little blurb about what we thought about the assignment or our work that day. Every journal entry was always read and reacted to by the teachers; for some kids, that allowed room for any kind of writing help they needed and for others, like me, it was pure motivation to write even more in hopes of entertaining the teacher and expressing my creativity. Once I transitioned to public school, obviously the motivation to write was still present in my classes, but the focus sort of turned from creativity to finishing essays, developing a good "author voice", and getting your message across concisely...all AP language arts terms that have stuck their little legs in my brain and haven't budged. Sure, there were "poetry units" throughout English classes in middle school, and a few writing competitions in high school, but I wasn't doing so much writing that was constantly being read and appreciated.
I assume that's why authors choose writing as a profession. It's less about pure feelings and more about connecting with others who also share those feelings. It's hard to know your audience though, so it could feel like you're limited in what you write if you don't think your normal writing would appeal to a large crowd. That's sort of how I feel. I know I have a lot of things to say and process, but I just don't think there are a lot of people who would agree or support that expression. Not because it's controversial, but it's due rather to a lack of caring. And that's a personal flaw I have been trying to work on- the whole "needing validation" thing. It's a work in progress. That's also why I wouldn't want to pursue writing as a singular profession- maybe one day, I'll work on publishing a memoir or book, but that's for after I get through achieving my other ambitions.
Anyways, this article isn't solely about how I feel the need to appeal to everyone. It's about how I still find ways to sneak in creative writing and moments of reflection in writing. As a STEM major, there is still a lot of writing, but not the kind that gives you the cathartic experience most other writings. STEM writing is more analytical, procedural, and frankly, clean-cut. But our brains aren't meant to be clean cut machines that can precisely write words that don't have messy emotions attached. So I have that STEM writing that I practice in college, and I save my messy thoughts for this platform and my day-to-day emotions for my 5-Year Memory Journal.
I used to be the person who desperately wanted to get into bullet journaling or just regular sketchbook journaling, but it's so much effort to have make sure your calligraphy and penmanship and color pallet looks nice that I have presently given up on that. Maybe when I have more time (as if). But about two years ago, I found a little 5-Year Memory Book journal in the miscellaneous section of New Jersey Marshalls and it's been my favorite little thing. It's basically just a really small but thick little line-by-line journal that lets you write a couple sentences about your day. That could be normal happenings or crazy events or just how you were feeling. And you're supposed to write a line in it every day, for five years. I'm usually bad at making committed judgments but having this journal and doing my best to stick to the writing schedule of it has taught me better writing skills. Usually, the five little lines you get for each day isn't enough for me to fit in everything I want to, so my words usually crawl up the side of the page and towards the spine of the journal. I've always had a problem with writing "too much."
Anyways. It's just an addicting little habit that I have gone to the extent of shoving it in already over-weight travel bags during vacation and lugging it around during breaks from school. Sometimes, I'm too lazy to do that, so the past year, there are definitely weeks and months at a time where I didn't write anything. But I'm getting better at making sure to write in it every single day. It gets you into the habit of really stopping to take a moment, reflect, and be grateful for how your day was. That you had a day. And that you might get another one tomorrow. It's honestly also a good reminder of the fleeting time we have as humans on this planet, and how the individual moments we have are so uniquely rare.
It's nice now especially because since I've already completed a year of thoughts, every night when I write in it, I get to read how that day was for me a year ago. Right now, I'm getting to read about what I was going through having started my freshman year of college one year ago. Apparently this past week one year ago, I took a really difficult chemistry exam, sang with my college chorus at a few events, and met some really cool friends in lab. Maybe not monumental events, but definitely meaningful. So it puts things into perspective and again, makes you grateful for what you had and have, and for what you went through.
If you're ever in the mood to become one of those "reflective" people, I highly recommend getting a 5-Year Memory journal. It's helped me a lot, just knowing that even though it isn't super super detailed like a normal journal would be, there is still some account of a few moments of my life for these next five crazy years.
