I don't know.

Does anyone know where to start when it comes to understanding what feminism is for a Muslim woman?

This piece is not about the rights Islam has given women, or how the hijab contributes to feminist ideals. I agree with many of these notions, but I want to talk about a different dynamic: people who are not Muslim females framing feminism for Muslim women.

Nashwa Khan perfectly describes the need for Muslim women to be able to define their feminism in this piece, where she addresses how even other "intersectionalists" have came up short.

So to really start:

Is it another "surprise" moment when a girl in a headscarf is valedictorian, or reveals that she wears it by choice?

For me, this is classic. But there are still people that are caught off-guard by these instances.

The frustrations come from people who think they actually know things from a glance at a snippet — or an interpretation — of a few words they caught. They take it upon themselves to wear the high and mighty crown of knowledge and advocacy. Sometimes, they go as far as making normative statements about things they actually don't understand. I'm sure that they are "experts" after reading (and over-interpreting) a few articles, but I still question whether or not they actually care about Muslim women.

Where was the concern for Muslim women when their lands and bodies were being colonized and invaded (even today in the 21st century)? Where was the distaste when the hijab was being fetishized? Where was the outrage when actual Muslim women tried to speak for themselves, and their opinions were swept under the rug? What made it okay when celebrities dawned niqab styles as fashion statements ("Wow, that really brings out your eyes!"), but ignored the problem of abuse and discrimination that actual niqabis have to deal with?

Does our faith not hold both genders accountable for their actions? (Asking for a friend). Since society doesn't hold both genders accountable (think: slut-shaming), a lot of misogyny has made its way into practices, and even the most "progressive" men take advantage of it (or fall into the flow of it), whether they realize it or not. This will be my example of issues within our community.

There has always been more than meets the eye.

There is an inherent acknowledgement that men and women are different, and we certainly flow with that idea in the way we practice our faith and even our cultures. I just don't know why that should automatically give either gender a reason to be disrespectful to the other, or treat the other gender as the lesser. The more we learn about our faith, the more we come to respect each other for what we are.

Gender segregation becomes the norm in some settings, which I can somewhat understand. The idea of modesty has always been a two-way street, even if people tend to forget.

Seeing such manners play out in real life is an experience that I wish more people had insight to. I know others are critical of such phenomenons and there is a lot to be said about the ups and downs of it — but perhaps for another time.

Would you have ever known about the existence of such dynamics if you did not walk in my shoes as a Muslim girl? Probably not.

That goes to show that you should let Muslim women speak for themselves because they certainly have a voice. Many have always used it, even when the world tried to make them feel strange for it. Meanwhile, I can't deny the pressured silence of Muslim women, and women, in general.

There have already been discussions on issues with white feminism. Why wouldn't there be? For women who don't understand a culture — or culture, in general — to dare assume authority to claim what's right and what's wrong in it, blows me away. Have they not taken a look in the mirror? Are they delusional about some of the practices in their own culture?

(Note: For those of you hearing the term "white feminism" for the first time, it is not about putting white women down. It's about addressing the lack of understanding for women of other identities).

I'm serious, I don't know how girls who live in an inevitably, imperfect society have the audacity to try to drag the cloth off the heads of other women in all their wisdom.

However, even when it comes to intersectional feminism, I remain disappointed when girls from one culture find it within themselves to point to another culture and say "This must change." They don't know anything — it's not their culture or their faith.

I'm a fan of intersectional feminism. It's so important. I'm just not a fan of moments when people who do not walk in my shoes try to talk about issues in my community with a voice of advocacy. I get it, you want to help — but you don't get it.

It's my faith; leave the dynamics to me. I know what's detrimental, and I know where certain thoughts and practices come from. You would think that coming from one misunderstood culture or faith, you would know better than to point fingers at what you think you know about another. But here we are.

Your experiences are valuable, but they are not the final say. To assume that gender roles and actions are viewed the same way, or even have the same meaning in my world as they do in yours, is a heavy conclusion to carry. Feel free to unload.

That's not to say that you can't learn about other cultures; in fact, it would be a very nice thing to do. People like sharing and teaching, and it's appreciated when others actually try to educate themselves.

If you ask me why I must stand behind a man when I pray, I will tell you that I don't want them to pray behind me, or next to me. It really can be that simple.

It's not counter-progressive for me to support such a notion. Cramped praying spaces for women in mosques are a different story. Until you have assumed the role of a Muslim woman preparing to pray in a public or co-ed setting, you can never know what it is like.

Indeed, there are Muslim females who would disagree with me. That's between us.

Please don't take your community's gender issues and place them over my community. You will find yourself surprised when the pieces don't fit quite right.

What's detrimental is that people are still getting their hands on acid and throwing it at others because they just can't stand the fact that things didn't go their way.

It's questionable that instead of actually trying to tackle the issue of female genital mutilation directly (which is localized to particular communities), people take the long and impossible road of trying to flush the belief system of a billion people down the toilet. Did you really think that was going to work? Obviously not, so I question how much you actually care for issues that women in the Middle East, Africa, South Asia and here at home suffer.

What's also frustrating is that societies with high divorce rates are pointing how ridiculous it is for girls to opt for arranged marriages. It's baffling that the decisions so many people make for their lack of a dating life are scrutinized by girls and boys who make questionable decisions on their own end. (Seriously, I know y'all own mirrors...)

It's disturbing for people to take the issues that Muslim women do have to deal with and use them as leverage for an agenda. If you have an issue with the way Muslim women are treated, I can't blame you. I have qualms with the way women everywhere are treated. I also have problems with the way men are treated when they face injustice.

It's true that in some Muslim-majority countries, there are women who have an especially hard time because of old-fashioned practices and a lack of literacy or education. There are problems even in American-Muslim households, but we are kidding ourselves if we think these problems are only limited to Muslim families.

When you try to tell me what's in my faith, I want to tell you that we are very much literate and can learn for ourselves — but I can only speak for myself here. Indeed, there remain Muslim women who either cannot access school or have not grown up in an environment where educating females is a priority. It's counterproductive to the aspect of their faith that calls for them to learn and practice it. This is an outlet for misogyny to make its way into practices: when male literacy is higher than female literacy. This means that male perspectives make their way in and even dominate, in a sense.

It doesn't take a genius to figure it out, but it does help to be a part of the community to come to understand these issues.

We are not blind to it. If anything, we understand it better than others.

If you care about these women, do something about the problem through actual policy work and support. If you want to use these issues for your anti-Islam propaganda, have yourself a ball, but try not to spread too much hate in the process because people do take that stuff out on us — you just don't hear about it as much on the news.

It's on you that you're doing nothing for these women, and I do question if you even care about them. If that's hard to believe, then I ask again: why does your voice matter more than theirs? Why is it so easy to dehumanize them when you talk down to them or justify dropping bombs on their homes? What have you done for women facing domestic abuse at home? And why do you care about the plight of these women when it's (politically) convenient for you?

I've seen the way some look at me; like I am an outsider. And I've heard the way you speak of outsiders. Hence, I continue to question how much you care about Muslim women. I've also seen the questions you've asked about why a girl would let herself be subjected to practices in a faith like mine. For one thing, I can promise that my scarf doesn't prevent blood from flowing to my brain. Your misunderstandings aside, I question daily why girls and boys all around me allow themselves to be subjected to gender-based injustices. They maintain more control over some situations more than others.

I can't draw conclusions because these decisions are not mine, but I do wonder. Don't you?

Here, we have a few places to start when thinking about Muslim women and feminism.

A special shout out to @thepakistanimarthastewart for being a talented artist and letting me use her amazing work!