My fourth first day of college is here.
I'm sipping on a fresh breakfast blend of coffee, my backpack is already packed, and I'm double checking my schedule. The signs of first-day nerves are still visible, but there is a new confidence I feel. A lot has changed since this bright-eyed eighteen-year-old stepped foot into her new dorm room. For instance, by now my freshman self-had already toured the campus searching for where in the world Harry Griffith Hall could possibly be. My professors were a mystery. Now, professors are more than a mere printed name on paper, but instead familiar faces, and I can shut my eyes and picture the buildings spread across campus. No more searching for Harry Griffith Hall for me.
As a freshman, I had just met my roommate. The empty feeling of being apart from my family was a fresh wound and each stranger passed was a new possibility. Would they be my next best friend, roommate or classmate? As a first generation student, I felt nervous but so incredibly proud to attend college. Ever since I started high school, college was my goal. It had never been a question of if, but instead a question of where. And I had chosen Humboldt State University.
My first week of class was a blur. I took a class I later found out I actually didn't need, but I met someone in there who would later become one of my friends. In general, I found myself incredibly nervous to be around so many strangers. I've always been a shy person this felt different. This newfound anxiety didn't really leave my side as I expected. Instead, each morning my anxiety would wake up with me and proceed to whisper unnecessary bullshit into my ear throughout the day. Since then, my feelings about my anxiety have changed, and while it has remained one of my greatest challenges, I'm glad to say I've come a long way.
As a freshman, I couldn't guess I would later work in the residence halls or how happy that would make me. As a freshman, I was an undeclared major which meant I had no idea what direction I wanted to go into and that I loved general education classes. Since then, after a few awkward but incredibly important meetings with different professors in various fields, I met with my future advisor. After speaking, I declared my major and now, like most people, am over taking general ed. I'm still a bit shaky on what exactly I want to do, but my future is starting to take shape.
Now, I'm living with an extremely wonderful person who brightens up my days in a new apartment which I love. I'm about to work at two jobs again. My expanded awareness of environmental issues means I can never just look at a plastic bottle and not think about its impact. Throughout school, new friendships were found in sometimes unexpected places. The time near the coast taught me how to appreciate nature truly and to treasure the feeling of sunlight in this cloudy, beautiful little college town. I can bicycle places, go grocery shopping and in true adult fashion buy whatever I want (yeah right).
I even feel that I have contributed to Humboldt State University in my way.
Nothing in life is simple, that at least that has rang true to me.
College was certainly not easy. It's been my greatest challenge for multiple reasons. But rest assured it has been so rewarding. The experiences and the lessons learned cannot be found elsewhere. Between the tears and laughs, the few moments of clarity amongst the many questions, I feel I have grown as an individual and an academic.
Cheers to you. To this new year. To the next big challenge.
