I was young when I started singing and songwriting (I wasn't very good, but that's beside the point). I sang for fun and wrote all my strange songs on a piece of paper. I didn't think of it as much because I didn't know what was in store for me in the future, and I still don't know. However, at the end of third grade, my elementary music teacher recommended the third-grade class to pick an instrument to play in fourth grade and that it was our choice if we wanted to continue or not. He just wanted us to try it out. A lot of the kids in my class hated music class because it was a mandatory class in school, like P.E., except people said it wasn't as fun since we were forced to sing songs from 70s and 80s for the winter concerts and had to learn the history behind all music. For me, though, it was my favorite class, and I looked forward to going to that class every day. Once the people who were interested picked their instruments, we started to play them at the beginning of fourth grade.
And that is how I joined the orchestra.
For the first two years, I struggled to play and didn't understand how everyone around me could play so well. There was a point where I wanted to quit, but instead, I decided to go home after I got sick of not knowing how to play all the pretty tunes, and I learned the notes; I went to school the week after, and my teacher noticed how much I've improved. I continued to keep playing, and I later auditioned and joined near symphonies and other groups outside of school.
My music teacher knew I played an instrument, but, more than that, he was always supportive of my singing.
He would always pull me over after class and ask me if I was auditioning for the talent show. He would give me solos in the concerts, and when I auditioned for my first talent show in fourth grade, he told me to never stop singing and to always keep improving, even if I got really good. After that, I auditioned for the talent show almost every year. Later, my parents bought me a guitar for my birthday, and I learned the chords and slowly started to sing with it. I downloaded apps where I could learn multiple instruments, even if I didn't have them, and I started to "produce" and record my music at home. To me, it isn't "how much" I have recorded or learned or if other people will see it one day. The mere fact that it gives me a surprising amount of confidence and strength is all I need.
As I grew up, I also learned that it wasn't about if people thought you were good or not but the fact that if you really enjoy something, and if it gives you enough happiness, you should keep doing it regardless. I think that if anyone has a strong passion for something, it can either lead them to do bad things or good things in life. It is so easy to listen to discouraging voices in your environment, and the only thing that will keep driving you is your passion. And for me, that is doing music.
I don't know if I will stop playing an instrument or lose my interest in music altogether in the future, but what I do know is that playing, listening and using music in various ways makes me feel more powerful than anything else. It is the only thing that makes me see a vision but then gives me the motivation to actually fulfill that vision. I know that somehow and somewhere, my purpose lies in music because every time I write a song or make a chord for that song, I feel as if nothing else matters. I know that I won't always have time for such a simple hobby, but I also know that I can never give up because if I did, I wouldn't just lose practice or skill but also parts of myself. I want to follow the path of my passion, dream about it, and then live it forever.
