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'Murica!

Land of "bigger is always better."

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'Murica!
AKPhotograph.com

When I reached the crest of the trail to Pyramid Point, a beautiful vista protected by one of our great nation’s many national parks—the Sleeping Bear Dunes—I saw a bald eagle arc overhead in front of a clear blue sky and above a deep blue Lake Michigan. This was only the second such, majestic bird I had ever seen, and I was in awe. This was to be merely an indicator of the truly American time we had over Labor Day weekend.

Before I set out on my three reasons for deeming said vacation ‘Murican, let me explain the vacation. My life, as a college student, is full of drudgery. Luckily I have made new friends since arriving at this educational institution, and two of them just so happen to live in the beautiful Traverse City/Leelanau Peninsula area of Michigan. Myself, and another person from Southern Michigan, were extended an invitation to stay at our friends houses over the holiday weekend, with the added benefit of being toured around the area all day, every day.

First, we will begin with our mode of entertainment. During our time there we passed time by walking, talking, playing Jenga, watching live music, and, most often, shopping. That’s right folks, capitalism for the win! Though most people don’t work over Labor Day, almost everyone buys lots of stuff and things, and that drives the economy, and that is precisely what we’re about in this country. Everything from books, to toys, to trinkets, to, yes, even soap, was looked at and/or purchased over the vacation. Everyone present spent at least $100; welcome to the first world.

Second, we shall delve into our food choices. Yes, this great span of Earth that we have imbued with certain, inalienable rights for all humanity is a melting pot unlike any other, and there is never a paucity of culinary variety. Over the course of our trip we consumed food originating from many far flung corners of the world. One night we ate Chinese (American portions), the next morning we had a very American style breakfast (American proportions), and the evening of the next two days we had Italian food (American portions). To clarify, the last meal of the vacation was a fast food Italian American meal in which I consumed two large pops, two slices of pizza, 12 breadsticks, and six Italian donuts. ‘Murica!

Now, after I completed this gluttonous first world fantasy, my friends and I rolled ourselves to our American vehicle of choice, a 1999 Ford Expedition. That’s right fellas, this motley crew of teens drove over 600 miles round trip in one of the more American vehicles ever manufactured. Assembled in Wayne, Michigan, this 17-year-old, 5,000-pound, body-on-frame, V8, rear-wheel-drive, 8-passenger land barge transported 3 teens over 600 miles while getting 16 m.p.g. Maybe.

In what other country would any of those three vacation notes remain the same? Canada doesn’t count as a country, nice try. I’ll be damned if we don’t live in an age of excess unlike any before or since. ‘Murica.

*Not all opinions expressed or alluded to in this article are held by its author, in fact, most of them aren’t.

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