Do you ever find yourself lost in thought wondering how different your life would be if a certain event didn't take place, or if you wouldn't have met a significant person, or made a specific decision? Recently, that's what I've found myself doing, over something that I could never have controlled.

My parents immigrated to the United States from India, a little more than a year after I was born. Though my mom's immediate family was living here, my dad left his behind, along with his friends, job, and sense of comfort. For that, I will always be forever grateful for having the opportunity to live a privileged life here, but there were times when I wondered what would've happened if we stayed.

It took us 10 years to finally obtain a green card, and then five more to be complete American citizens. During that waiting period, the hardest part for my parents was not being able to leave the country to visit loved ones. By the time we could, India almost felt like a whole different country to them. The roads, buildings, and food, for the most part, were the same, but the people were different. Though from the same family, the circumstances and practices my brother and I were raised with, were very different from that of my cousins. There was a bit of a culture shock, even though we were going back to a place which my parents called "home" for most of their lives.

So my big "what if" is my parents' decision to move to the United States. What if they didn't? Would they have raised us differently? How would that change the current relationship they have with their parents and siblings? How would that change the relationships between my cousins and grandparents? Would we ever eventually move to America or would it become a once in a lifetime vacation spot?

That decision basically determined my whole life, the gravity of which I am only fully understanding and coming to terms with recently. It's the reason for my educational experiences, my future goals and dreams, all of the relationships I've made outside of my household, and so much more.

Knowing that and accepting it is scary and crazy, but also heartwarmingly beautiful.