That feeling. The feeling you get when you are no longer being held down by the anchor. The feeling when you are no longer being suppressed. The feeling when you realize who the f*ck you are and what you deserve. The feeling when you pack your sh*t and go. The feeling when you emotionally gather your baggage and hit the road. That feeling.
Nothing quiet compares to the freedom you get after walking away from someone or something that wasn't good enough for you. When it happens, you feel liberated. Like you can take on the world. But truth be told, you always could. You always had what you needed, right inside of you. If you ever sit quietly alone you will find the answers you need within yourself. When you come to terms with that idea that this is longer serving a healthy purpose in your life, that is when the real work starts. You have that small ounce of excitement pondering the unknown. What could happen next? What do you want to happen, next? What can you dream up? What sounds so outlandish yet honestly possibly?
Walking away is liberating because you are standing up for the most important relationship in your life. The relationship with yourself. And if you don't have your own back then, who will? Walking away shows everyone around you that you believe in yourself. But more importantly, it affirms that you love yourself enough to know when simply, enough is enough.
I recall walking away from a man whom was not good enough for me. On paper, he seemed like the perfect fit. But in real life, it was like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree. Impossible. I knew when it was time to walk away. So I gathered my thoughts, and left him like a criminal on the run. No hate, no shame, no anger. Just isn't working anymore, babe. The easiest part was leaving. The hardest part was dodging his thousands of questions that punctured his ego. "But how? How could you leave me? Leave this? Leave us?" he would say, knowing oh too well how good he looked on paper. While I wanted to follow up with one to many responses, the main one was simple.
I was no longer interested in being kept in a cage of a life I did not accept. I was no longer interested in committing to a relationship that was jaded due months of lies, shadiness and deception. While he was left scratching his head, I was not left at all. No, I was walking. For the first time, I was walking away and walking into a new direction that promised me hope. That hope gave me the feeling I had been longing for. The feeling I thought a man could provide but really I could give myself. The feeling I thought a relationship would solve. But a relationship cannot solve anything. For you can solve everything on your own, my love.
But then you realize that feeling. The empowering feeling. The feeling of freedom for a woman who does not want to be kept. Kept a secret, kept as a friend with benefits, kept as a side piece. Oh no. She was meant for much more than that. And with walking away, each footstep renowned that fact. In each step you could see the words in her imprints. The words that perfectly scripted where she had been and where she was going. That is that feeling of walking away, when someone no longer serves you.