This is my first Odyssey article that I've ever written. Unfortunately, I've had to think of something to write about, and actually write it, while dealing with a breakup.
Well, actually, we are "on a break," but the chances of us getting back together are pretty slim.
After nearly a year and a half, I've committed a majority of my time, energy, and attention to someone who promised me that they would do the same. However, over the course of that year, I lost my car, my job, and my roommate.
So he offered his assistance and love. And I took it, happily. I felt totally secure with him. I'm 21 years old, and he's 26. We were dating with a purpose, trying to build towards marriage.
But something went wrong.
We moved in together after four months of dating. Around month six, we began to fight.
First, it was every other month. Then, once a month. Then, every two weeks. Down to once a week, or even every couple of days. Now, he's at a breaking point.
Our lease is close to being up. And the kicker is, he's convinced me to move into an RV with him to save money. He made it sound so good.
No rent, no additional student loan debts from living on campus, and all of the traveling we will do together. But most of the money saved is his, and I still don't have a car.
I asked myself, and my friends and family, "What should I do?"
So I decided to give myself a little pep talk.
Stop being a dumb bitch. He doesn't realize what he's losing. You're beautiful, strong, creative, and you damn sure don't need a man to take care of you. You deserve better.
My friends and family have told me similar things, minus calling me a dumb bitch. But I knew I was being dumb, knew I was under his influence.
But I'm still in love.
I'm highly annoyed with my lover but in love none the less.
In hindsight, I know what we did wrong. We treated each other like we owned one another before it was the reality. It was too much too soon.
I've got plans to get a car, and friends are offering up spare beds for me.
I might lose my love, but I know how to stand on my own two feet.
