As I sit on my phone in the dark at 3:30 AM, I realize something. I'm a picture hoarder. They're mostly of memories that are all I have now, people that have come and gone in my life. I still hold onto those moments, those pictures, in hope that one day they will come back. I think people hold onto these memories to remind them of the good, the bad, and the amazing that they had during their time with the people in those pictures, as I know that's my case.
It's nice looking back at a picture and smiling because you see your favorite person and it just makes you happy, but it also hurts when you see it and know that they are the cause of a tremendous pain in your heart that no matter what, you can't get out of your mind.
That doesn't seem to be the case, however, as after a year I'm finally deleting my pictures of you and it hurts because you were such a big thing in my life— 5 years worth— that I can never forget and I'm grateful for that. But it's time to let go.
It's hard, but I realize I need to do this for me because I'm sick of getting the heartache every time I see your face, but also getting pissed off for how you just left me with no explanation like I meant nothing to you. How does one let go of 5 years worth of memories, though? I am definitely someone who holds onto memories and will think about them and just make myself hurt all over again because I'm not someone who forgets easily. It's okay to let go, though.
Sometimes you need to in order to move on and start a new chapter in your life regardless of how much it hurts. Just because you're deleting those pictures doesn't mean that you'll forget about them, because you won't. Those memories and those people will always be there with you, only tucked away for safe keeping when you need them the most. Moving on is like cleansing your soul in a way, and it can be a great thing if you let it because it opens you up to new opportunities you could miss out on.
Letting go and moving on shows that you're ready to, in a way, start a new chapter in your life, and that can be the best feeling in the world. So, in a way, I'm happy to finally have gotten to this point in my life because I'm ready.
