Moving On After An Unhealthy Relationship | The Odyssey Online
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Relationships

Moving On After An Unhealthy Relationship

Your next love should be yourself.

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Moving On After An Unhealthy Relationship
Ashley Rose

The truth hurts. Sometimes, it hurts so badly you find yourself avoiding and pretending you don't see it. You tell your friends they're wrong when they point it out. When you love someone, it's hard to imagine that they could ever be toxic.

When a relationship is unhealthy, or even abusive, the people involved suffer immense damage. Insecurities are magnified instead of eased. Trust is betrayed, denied and disregarded. Lovers who once saw the world in each other come to feel completely alone. Someone who once made you feel like the world was at your fingertips now makes you feel like the scum of the earth, and you don't want to leave because you love them. Maybe you believe it will get better, or even that it isn't even that bad. You may even believe you deserve to be berated, disrespected and put down because of something you did or were accused of. You find yourself focusing on nothing but fixing this broken relationship, no matter how little or even opposite effort your partner puts in. You become solely dedicated to clinging to your shred of hope that things will work out for your relationship. You neglect your former responsibilities and take on new ones to try to prove to your partner that you're worthwhile. You go out of your way to try to make memories with your partner, only to be disregarded and ditched.

You break.

You leave.

At first, you probably don't want it to be permanent. You don't want to say goodbye forever, you just need to get out and figure out some things. You still hold a belief that your former lover will one day return to you, and that you will be happy together. Then, as freedom clears your head and your heart, you begin to see that ugly truth. You see how toxic the relationship was. You see how low that person made you feel about yourself and you see how different you feel when you aren't with them anymore.

Moving on is the next step. It doesn't necessarily mean dating. You just need to find out how happy you can be without that person. As long as you put yourself out into the world, you will create new friendships and deepen existing ones. You will be able to re-ignite passions that you had to drop for that person. You won't just piece yourself back together; you'll rebuild yourself to a new and exciting standard of excellence and strength.

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