Aries (3/21-4/19): Ghostface
Animated and spirited, an Aries’ ability to adapt to any situation sets them apart from the rest of the Zodiac. Between relentless stalking, countless phone calls, and evading police capture in four different movies, Ghostface certainly embodies the restless spirit that defines Aries. Ghostface also has that charismatic charm that’s essential to the Aries sign—who else could get so many different victims to stay on the phone for so long, especially when the topic of conversation is their impending doom?
Taurus (4/20-5/20): Michael Myers
The Taurus is a stubborn sign, known for their efficiency in getting their work done and their reluctance to change old habits. With Michael Myers, old habits die hard: the dude murders his sister, gets thrown in a sanitarium, and escapes fifteen years later just to kill his other sister. He’s an effective killer, taking down over fifty victims over the course of seven movies while demonstrating that good old-fashioned Taurus efficiency.
Gemini (5/21-6/20): Regan Macneil
You’re a clever one, Gemini. You know who else was clever? The devil, especially after he possessed sweet Regan Macneil and used some fancy word-jazz and weird body theatrics to wreak havoc on her and the people she knew. The internal battle that ensues between Regan and the devil represents the dual nature that defines the Gemini, who is known to be indecisive and often conflicted.
Cancer (6/21-7/22): Leatherface
A sign known for their intense loyalty, a Cancer is also family-oriented and highly dependable. It doesn’t get much more family-oriented than sitting at the dinner table, grunting and screeching along with your family while you all enjoy the human you so graciously hunted down for them to eat. Cancers are hard-working, and with a job important as keeping your family fed, Leatherface never had much time to slack off.
Leo (7/23-8/22): Jason Voorhees
Leos are a stubborn, headstrong group of people. What says headstrong more than a guy who spends twelve movies murdering campers because he can’t let go of that fact that his counselors let him drown once? Change can be a beautiful thing, Leo, and refusing to change can lead you to living in a sh*tty summer camp with a bunch of sex-addled, whiny teens.
Virgo (8/23-9/22): Captain Spaulding
Virgos have an attention to detail that can’t be rivaled, and who better embodies that than Captain Spaulding, who created an elaborate, murder-based museum/haunted house hybrid? The guy works like a well-oiled machine, manipulating his customers and tricking them into going headfirst into their doom. That analytical, intelligent mind is a key trait of the Virgo sign. Virgos typically have better teeth, though.
Libra (9/23-10/22): Chucky
Resourcefulness is a defining trait of the Libra sign and of Charles Lee Ray, the serial killer who managed to throw his spirit into the Chucky doll as a last-ditch effort to save his own life after realizing he was fatally shot by police. While running around in Chucky’s body, he managed to murder a bunch of people, which is impressive considering he’s maybe two-feet-tall and weighs all of ten pounds. Libras are also known for their strong friendships, and Chucky, well, he’s your friend till the end. Hidey-ho!
Scorpio (10/23-11/21): Hannibal Lecter
Cool, calm, and collected, the Scorpio is known to have great control over their emotions. Hannibal Lecter never did lose his cool, managing to escape from a maximum security prison and always speaking in that same, notoriously level voice that haunts so many viewers to this day. Scorpios are highly observant, too, and Lecter was called upon by the F.B.I. to help catch another killer due to his high intelligence and his keen sense of observation. Scorpios are said to be great chefs, too...
Sagittarius (11/22-12/21): Freddy Krueger
Sagittarius, you’re an escapist, aren’t you? So was Freddy Krueger, who managed to escape from the real world to haunt and massacre teens in their dreams. The Sagittarius is also known to be a creative sign, and Freddy constantly shape shifts and manipulates his dream-world in order to terrorize his victims in innovative ways. He totally did lick Nancy’s face through the phone once, though, which is a little more gross than creative. Nobody’s perfect.
Capricorn (12/22-1/19): Jigsaw
Just because you live an organized and productive life doesn’t make you better than me, Capricorn. But it does make you like Jigsaw. Jigsaw meticulously planned and set-up dozens of traps to kill his victims, marking him as one of the most calculated of all movie killers. The Capricorn and Jigsaw also share a desire for justice: Jigsaw chooses his victims based on who commits immoral acts. At least he did so in the first movie. I skipped Saw 2 through 17 (oops).
Aquarius (1/20-2/18): Pennywise
The Aquarius is another highly intelligent sign that is known to approach life in unorthodox ways. Pennywise is a seriously unorthodox villain: he’s a shapeshifting, sewer-dwelling clown who is invisible to most people. Like Aquarius, he’s definitely smart, preying on each victim’s specific fears and using that to terrorize them to the fullest extent. Aquarius tends to be a lazy sign, though, and what’s lazier than a clown that waits literally 20-something years to resurface and haunt the same group of kids?
Pisces (2/19-3/20): Norman Bates
A quiet, sensitive sign, Pisces is prone to emotional outbursts and can have difficulty dealing with their emotions. Norman Bates straight up killed his mother and her boyfriend during some weird, jealousy-fueled rage, after which he assumed her personality and dressed like her sometimes. Similarly, Pisces have a tendency to adapt to their environment by imitating others around them, almost always by murdering them and wearing their clothes. Maybe. Don’t quote me on that.
