If the first image that comes to mind when you hear the term “Funeral Director” or “Mortician” is similar or identical to the picture shown below, please continue reading for the sake of undertakers' reputations everywhere.

"So let's talk about the body..."

As the daughter of a funeral director, whose father was also a funeral director, I’ve been subjected to questions that the child of a lawyer, an accountant, or a teacher would never be asked. “So does your familylive in the funeral home?” “Has your dad seen ghosts?” “Your dad could probably get away with murder, right?” “Have you ever seen dead people?” These are just a few of the odd, but fathomable, questions that I’ve been asked by those who are not familiar with the funeral business.

I’m here to set the record straight regarding some of the most common misconceptions about this “deadly” profession.

• Funeral directors have a creepy Dracula-esque aesthetic. On a normal day my 5’10” dad, who is a dead ringer for Mitt Romney (no pun intended), leaves the house in a patterned button-down shirt, khakis, and a pair of old boat shoes, usually with a cup of coffee in hand. No, he doesn’t lurk around the funeral home with a grim smirk on his face, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. At his best he can be seen sporting a suit, tie, and, maybe, some stubble. Sometimes on the weekends he’ll even put on a Hawaiian shirt and jeans. That's not so creepy, is it?
  
• The funeral home is basically the Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyworld. “It must be so scary, a house for dead people.” You’ll be surprised to know that not only is the funeral home quite the opposite of scary, but it also has an adorable English Bulldog roaming around! The general ambiance is very calming and quaint--displaying books, a fireplace, and cozy carpets.
  
• A funeral director’s main set of wheels is a hearse. As an enthusiastic Kia owner, my funeral directing father only uses the hearse when needed--which is during funerals and burials. For picking up the deceased a white Chrysler Town and Country is used, saving on fuel and other costs. You won’t see a mortician driving his hearse to a local restaurant on a Friday night.
  
• It’s a 9-5 job. It is. However, at least one time per week, my dad will get a call during the wee hours of the morning--such as 3:00 a.m. He will have to leave within a half hour of getting the call, go to the location where the the individual passed away, talk briefly with the family and friends of that person, then transport them to the morgue in the funeral home. By this time he’ll have just enough time to go home, look at the back of his eyelids for a few hours, and then go back to the funeral home and continue on with his daily tasks. It doesn’t stop there, though. Most funerals are held on Saturdays and Sundays, so the lyrics, “Everybody’s working for the weekend,” hold true.
  
• Undertakers just work in the funeral home. Churches, crematories, cemeteries, and houses are just as worked-in as the funeral home. Although one might assume that it’s the mitochondria of the business, the funeral home is merely a small protein.

Miscellaneous facts: Sometimes my dad wears a shirt that reads “I put the fun in funeral.” There are pink urns (the capsules that hold ashes) made from Himalayan salt and biodegradable caskets. Angelina Jolie wanted to be a funeral director when she was a little girl. Cadillac makes a hearse model. What a time to be alive (no pun intended).

I hope that this helped you see morticians in a different light!