Recently, I found myself watching a lovely movie called Flipped. In this movie, a dad ponders with his young daughter about looking at people as a whole as opposed to looking at them in pieces and fragmented shards of what they've done or what the are made of.

This has stuck with me. The father says "A painting is more than the sum of its parts. A cow by itself is just a cow. A meadow by itself is just grass, flowers. And the sun peeking through the trees is just a beam of light. But you put them all together and it can be magic." I have never been one to see things for how they really are. I romanticize just about everything and given the opportunity I could probably tell you about 5 things I like about a messy room, a cockroach or scary clowns. This idea of everything being more than what they really are is something that I've come to identify with.

Thinking about this quote has me thinking about whether I am more or less than the sum of my parts. Whether, if given the chance, I would be able to prove whether my good looks are mirrored by good character. If the cows in my meadow are just as beautiful as the flowers. I watched this movie at an ungodly hour and fell asleep soon after the movie finished but I woke up surprised to have this quote etched into my brain. As this season comes to an end and I start a new chapter in my life, I want to evaluate and encourage others to evaluate the sum of their parts and decide whether they are more or less.

What I'm truly prying at is this: you can have everything you've ever wanted, the car, the girl, the clothes; but if you're not everything you want, you'll never feel whole. You'll never be more than the sum of the things that make you. You'll be unsubstantial when faced with the task to explain whether your parts make you or you make your parts. All I'm trying to say is, get the party dress you've been wanting and looking for. Go to the store and try and find the shoes you wanted or the car you've been dying for. But don't go to these things looking for confidence, happiness, confirmation or anything other than what these things can actually do. Sure, you're things make you feel good.

But how will you feel when you finally put all of your things down, look yourself in the mirror, and ask yourself: what am I without my parts? What am I when the parties over, the lights are off and the people leave and I'm left alone with my thoughts?

My answer is I want to be more. I want to be more than simply the party host with the cool things and I want to be the girl that has a heart of gold and holds the hands of those that can't hold themselves. I want to be the girl that sticks her hands in the dirt of the dirty in order to clean them, knowing it will make me dirty. I want my parts to be totaled and my whole still be more significant.

I have dreamed of living in Wyoming when I get older and have the ability to move. I want to live in the country and have a nice house and horses and pigs and children (yes, that is a barnyard animal too) and I want to live a simple life. Growing up in Jacksonville hasn't exactly shaped that lifestyle for me. My parents have never been the ones to believe I was ever going to pack up and leave my city and go to a place where the closest house is two miles away and my best friends are horses because I have grown up very privileged. The only thing I can say to truly describe my ideas on this is as follows: I want my meadows, cows, flowers and all my other small puzzle pieces give me the opportunity to make magic. I want to know that even if the whole world is against me and I can't even trust myself, I will have something bigger than myself just outside counting on me. That these parts, by themselves, wouldn't mean anything to anybody passing down the street but to me, these parts are a jigsaw puzzle of beauty and of love and that these things are more than what they appear to be. I want to be reminded every day that these things are more than what meets the eye as a constant encouragement that I am too.

I want my parts to make me the person I want my future daughter to be. I want my pieces to make me more whole. This is for the people that go to 5 different stores and buy 20 different things but have no idea where to buy joy or wear fulfillment. This is an encouragement to see your parts and try to be more.