"Eloise at Christmastime" came out in 2003, and everyone knows that Eloise is a six-year-old girl. If you do some simple math, you will find that Eloise would be 19 now. That's my age. Well, now that I have noticed this, I am ready to assimilate whatever traits I need to fully become the precocious and fabulously festive Eloise.

Step 1: Don't apologize for your way of life!

Step 2: Get out of bed every morning with a purpose.

Step 3: Don't think of yourself as any less than a beloved holiday tree.

Step 4: Know that you're giving everybody the gift of your presence this December.

Step 5: But also know exactly what you want, and don't be shy.

Step 6: Make up words.

Step 7: Make sure your best friend is Bill: a nice, handsome, older guy with talent.

Step 8: SING WITH BILL!

Step 9: Remember to be generous.

Step 10: Rock out with Julie Andrews.

Step 11: Take a rest. It's not easy being Eloise!