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The All Too Real Realities Of College, As Told By Amy Schumer

Lauren O'Connell

Oct 14, 2015

Baylor University

The All Too Real Realities Of College, As Told By Amy Schumer

Amy Schumer rocks and if you don't agree, that's fine, and I understand. But just know that you're wrong.

Trying to suck up to all of your new professors

Trying to juggle your homework and social life while still keeping a rockin' bod

Realizing 'Ring by Spring' is just as unrealistic as it was last year

Registering for easy classes just to bump up your GPA

When you see your exam grade

When someone in your group project doesn't contribute

When your friends are all dressed and ready to go out and ask you to come last minute

Changing out of your pajamas because you want to go out with your friends.... and hating every moment of it

Giving yourself a pep talk when that guy you met last night doesn't text you back....

Having to speed walk across campus to try and get to class on time.

Explaining to your mother how great your eating habits have been since you left home...

When your professors all schedule tests in the same week....

Posting snap chat stories to prove to your friends at home that college is AWESOME!!

Not being able to conceal your pride for your football team...

Realizing that you're in college. Which is just cool.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The All Too Real Realities Of College, As Told By Amy Schumer

Trying to suck up to all of your new professors

Trying to juggle your homework and social life while still keeping a rockin' bod

Realizing 'Ring by Spring' is just as unrealistic as it was last year

Registering for easy classes just to bump up your GPA

When you see your exam grade

When someone in your group project doesn't contribute

When your friends are all dressed and ready to go out and ask you to come last minute

Changing out of your pajamas because you want to go out with your friends.... and hating every moment of it

Giving yourself a pep talk when that guy you met last night doesn't text you back....

Having to speed walk across campus to try and get to class on time.

Explaining to your mother how great your eating habits have been since you left home...

When your professors all schedule tests in the same week....

Posting snap chat stories to prove to your friends at home that college is AWESOME!!

Not being able to conceal your pride for your football team...

Realizing that you're in college. Which is just cool.

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There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

Don't Be That Person

1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”

2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”

3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”

4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”

5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”

6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”

7. “Why are you so loud?”

8. “So does your family know English?”

9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”

10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”

11. “Are you Mexican?”

Love hard, every day, and never be ashamed.

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