When I was six, I imagined that a monster was living under my bed. I dreamt of having the courage to confront and fight the scary beast, but as a young child, I was never able to transform my dreams of courage to reality.
Ten years later, the monster no longer lived under my bed and my fear had dissipated. But, during my sophomore year of high school a new, scarier monster began to rear its ugly head. He appeared when I least expected him to. He seemed to stalk me in the halls. I had never imagined an adult I trusted and looked up to could become such a terrifying beast, preying on young girls like me. My experience in dealing with the monster helped me move beyond my childhood and become a young adult.
The monster entered my life in my sophomore year of high school, as I was engaged in an extracurricular activity. These activities were always important to me. The monster somehow managed to twist our conversations into lurid tales about his experience with the students in my school. “This is not something you should be talking to me about,” I thought to myself, but I was too scared to say anything. He threatened that if I told anyone about his statements, bad things would result.
Like with the monster under the bed, I tried to hide under my blankets and believe he didn’t exist. I would even skip school to avoid him. I was afraid to tell anyone about him because I knew they wouldn’t believe me or they would think it was my fault. If I told my parents, they would say I was exaggerating; if I told my teachers, they were sure to take his side; and if I told my friends, they would laugh at me or ridicule me for being so naïve. So I kept it to myself, and prayed that the monster would go away.
Things quieted down as school ended and summer began, but the monster didn’t go away. A year later, the monster cornered me again and he continued with his stories and propositioned me again. The bell rang and I felt my body tremble as I walked to my next class.
I was a nervous wreck. It was clear he wasn’t joking. I was terrified to attend school. I had to make a choice, would I do nothing or would I confront the beast? Finally, realizing that this was not just about me and that he was certain to approach other young girls, I decided I had to do something. I had to tell someone.
I confided in an older friend of mine. I could see the anger build up in her face as I told my story; it was clear she believed every word. Together we decided on a way to defeat the monster. We built a coalition one person at a time. Together we were willing to go to battle, and so we did.
As the story of the monster came to light, I remained frightened. There were times when I thought the monster was too strong for all of us. Many kids in my school refused to believe the monster existed, and I was besieged with ridicule and scorn for my actions. Nevertheless, I didn’t let that hold me back. I courageously told my story and didn't worry about the end result. Regardless of the outcome, I felt better for speaking up and facing my fears. In the end, the monster went away and my life settled back to its normal rhythm.
I was permanently changed by the incident. I realized that throughout my life, I may face other “monsters.” I’ve learned that I need to speak up and take action when I feel something is wrong. Although it may be easier to hide under my blanket, I cannot let my fears control me. Instead, I have to get out of bed and face my fears head on. Although my view of the world is a little less rosy, I now have the confidence in myself that I have the necessary skills to defeat any monster that may come my way.
