Okay people, don't get me wrong. I love Aggie Football, and I'm so excited to see what new coach Jimbo Fisher does with this team. I lost my voice yelling at the Clemson game, and I'm excited to see how the team does this year in the SEC.
But I think we all need to calm down a little bit.
Jimbo Fisher is just a football coach.
Hopefully, you're still reading this article after that sentence. I love football, and I know Texas A&M University loves football, but I also think I'm going to need to see a little more long-term evidence (Like our record come November!!) before you'll see me chanting Jimbo's name along with everyone else in Kyle Field.
And so even though I promise I'm every bit excited to have Jimbo as the next Aggie, I thought it might be fun, and maybe give us a little perspective, to take a minute and daydream about some other ways Texas A&M could've used the $75 million they shelled out to get their head coach.
Buy a pair of Crocs for every student.
Since students have to walk so much across TAMU's massive campus, you might as well provide them with some comfortable and fashionable footwear to get there!
Build another hotel.
Who needs more student housing?
50 by 25.
Why shoot for 25,000 students in TAMU engineering by 2025 when you could have 50,000?! The more, the merrier, am I right?!
Make Kyle Field indoors.
Oh, you mean we just got a new stadium?
More. Parking.
Good luck finding room on campus for another garage to overcharge students for though...
A private suite for Reveille.
I'm sure the Corp dorms are lovely arrangements, but she is the queen of Aggieland, right? Maybe it's time she was treated like it.
A Starbucks in every building.
So that way you can get your coffee before you have to wait in line at the one in Evan's Library!
Put a Whataburger on campus.
This one would help the school make even more money, so they can hire Jimbo all over again.
An express train to Dallas/Austin/Houston/anywhere more exciting than College Station.
To make up for the lack of things to do in the BCS area.
Even more parking.
In case you didn't get the idea. Parking is an issue!!
Install confetti and fireworks under the Century Tree.
...And an alarm that goes off if you try to walk under it alone.
Somehow fix the traffic?!
I'm not really sure how we could make this one happen, but I'm sure with $75 million they could at least make it so it doesn't take me 25 minutes to get from George Bush to University.
Replace all the Ofos with mopeds.
Wipe Blocker Building off of the face of the earth.
It would be the perfect spot for the next hotel!
Pay the janitorial, food services, and other employees of Texas A&M a little more money.
They definitely deserve more for having to put up with 60,000 college students waiting in line for Chick-fil-a every week. (P.S. to the lady at Smashburger who knows me by name, you're a rockstar and so underappreciated!!!)
Install an elevator in Heldenfels.
Make Breakaway every night of the week.
**Insert T.A. saying "Howdy" here**
Renovate the dorms so they are at least livable.
Or at least greatly reduce the price students pay for the shoeboxes they call rooms.
Cover the seal on Military Walk in solid gold.
Give the cats at Heldenfels a home.
Maybe the squirrels too?
Add six more floors to Evan's Library.
People will probably still have to sit in the floor of the MSC during meals though...
To ensure that the Aggie band and the yell leaders stay exactly the way they are.
Because no matter what the football team does, we can always count on winning halftime, and the Aggie band and yell leaders never letting us down!
I really hope Aggie football does great things this season, and I hope Jimbo Fisher has a lot of success here at Aggieland. But I also think we should all take a step back before we throw someone who, at the end of the day, is just a football coach onto too high of a pedestal.
