Anyone who knows the slightest bit about this election cycle knows that it is a complete disaster. The two frontrunners are despised by millions. One is under investigation for a huge scandal, one has been revealed to have run a fraudulent scheme. Obviously the democracy that the United States of America was founded on has ceased to work as intended, so there is only one solution: we need a monarch.
1. It is scientifically proven that people are happier when they have less choices.
And if we had a monarch, we'd have no choices, so everyone would be happy!
2. The King/Queen decides everything, so no more government shutdowns.
Without a political system of checks and balances, no one can oppose our ruler!
3. The media would have no control of opinion.
I think we can all agree that the media and social media have had a huge negative impact on this election. No election means no media control!
4. There will be way more universal respect for our ruler.
A monarch is for life, so they will mean a lot more to us than some little president that will be around for maybe eight years, but way more likely four.
5. The rulers will be bred from birth.
No more arguing over whether someone is qualified to rule -- they will grow up in the crown and be very well versed in political policy.
6. No more approval agenda.
The monarch doesn't care what the people think of them, because the people can't do anything to them. So they'll be making the decision they think is right, not the decision they think will get the least public scorn.
7. Less corruption.
When your leader isn't looking for approval or support from others to get things done, they won't be making deals and hiding things and accepting money! They'll just actually get things done on their own! What a unique concept!
8. We save money!
When the government doesn't have to spend money on things like elections, we can spend it on more important things, like Global Warming research, or Gun Safety research, or literally anything else that will make life better!
9. Someone will actually be able to take blame when things go wrong.
In our current system, everyone wants to pass the blame onto their opposing party or someone that stood in their way to make things difficult. A monarch would know it is just themselves responsible, so not only are they willing to take blame, but they are also more responsible with their decisions!
So that may only be nine reasons right there, but those nine reasons sure are looking better than a Trump or Hillary America to me. So how's this sound? Can we amend the Constitution to allow us a monarchy?