To the moms who judge other moms:

Dear judgmental moms,

I just have one question for you. Why? You know how hard motherhood is let alone having other moms-who are supposed to have your back- judge you when you’re doing the best you can. Just because another mom parents differently does not mean she should be shamed. Every child is different and every mom is different. We just have to figure out what works best for us and our child(ren). With that being said I’ll tell you about me and my 4mo old daughter. I am 19yrs old, I got an epidural (after talking to my older sister), I chose to be induced at 40wks, and I had her naturally. She weighed 9lbs 11oz and was 20in long so I pushed for two and a half hrs. then requested assistance after talking to my mom and husband about it. We co-slept up until about two or three weeks ago. I breastfeed and bottle feed. I feed on demand and I also let her fall asleep whenever. She sucks in her fingers rather than taking a pacifier. Now the reason I also bottle feed is because she lost a full pound and an ounce after birth. It took about three weeks for her to get up to 10lbs. Looking back I feel so guilty for not listening to my mom about starting formula sooner. I had just out so much pressure on myself about breastfeeding because I feel very passionately about it. I now take a supplement three times a day and eat very often to help keep milk production. I am also a stay at home mom and wife while trying to get my Mary Kay business off the ground. There do many different ways to parent: public, private, or homeschool; cry it out or pick them up (I usually pick her up); co-sleep, bassinet in your room, or crib in their own room; bottle and/or breastfeed; epidural or no drugs; c-section or vaginal; adoptive, step, or blood; all organic and natural or not; vaccines or not; single, partners(married), with another man or woman, dating, or co- parenting; spanking or not(won’t be our first reaction). This is not even all of the different ways but these seem to be the most talked about. I have a friend who is going to choose to parent in a completely different way than me yet her and I can still be friends. I know a girl who has exclusively breastfed since her daughter was born and she is now a year old. I know a girl who tried but is now just giving her son formula. I know quite a few girls who have had c-sections. I am no better than them because I was able to have a natural birth. In my opinion they are more of a woman than I am. They risked their life to bring their child into this world. I know a girl who refuses to spank her son. She did it once and vowed to never do it again. If we know there are many ways to parent and raise children then why are we so quick to judge? We (women) need to stand together not against each other.

Sincerely,

A young mother who is tired of being judged