Growing up (and even more so today), my mom has always been my super hero. She worked a full-time job while single-parenting three children. At 30, she decided to better herself and go to college. She graduated from Faulkner University with a 3.9 GPA, while still single-parenting three children, and a Bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice. My mom then challenged herself again and went to back to Faulkner and graduated with her Master’s degree. Now I know my mom struggled. I know there were days when she wanted to quit, but her perseverance and dedication are qualities that I admire most about her. Little did we know, the future was going to test not just those qualities in her but also every fiber of her being.
In 2009, my mom was diagnosed with aggressive rheumatoid arthritis (RA as it will later be referenced as). RA is an autoimmune disease that causes chronic pain, inflammation, stiffness, and swelling in the joints. Due to RA being an autoimmune disease, my mom’s immunity system also became compromised which meant she caught every cold and virus that was being spread around. She stayed sick nonstop from November until about March, prime cold and flu season. In 2013, mom had to make the hard decision to retire early due to her decline in health. Most might see retiring at 45 as a blessing, but my mom new this was the beginning of the long road ahead.
At first, mom was enjoying retirement life. Although she absolutely loved the career she had, she loved not being sick all of the time even more. Her run-ins with the flu decreased greatly, and she was picking up new hobbies and spending more time with family. She was still dealing with chronic pain every day, but at least she could still do whatever activities she pleased. As the disease progressed, however, she slowly started to lose little freedoms that most take for granted. She can no longer drive nor wash her hair, and although she fights it most days, she will soon be in a wheelchair. Still, my mom plays with our dogs, does laundry, crafts with my grandmother, and finds little ways to make my family and I feel like we’re the most important people on the planet. But I know none of that is easy for her.
She doesn’t think we notice when she grimaces while lifting a bottle of water. She doesn’t think we notice the constant shaking. Even though she is unnecessarily independent and insanely strong-willed, we know that she is basically an 80 year old on the inside. She is now extremely fragile and hurts all of the time physically, but mentally, my mom wants to enjoy the life that a normal 47-year-old woman has. And I think that’s the part that’s hardest to watch. Why shouldn’t she be able to live the life that she deserves to live? When it comes time for my siblings and I to have children of our own, why shouldn’t she be allowed to celebrate grandparenthood? My mom is a fighter, though, so I know she’ll take on each new chapter like a champ and smile her way through the pain.
My stepdad loves to remind my mom and I that we’re the same person, and although I never say anything, I know that she and I are very different. I’m not sure I could handle the degree of pain my mom does on a daily basis and still have the strength to get out of bed. Watching her limp around the house always brings a tear to my eye, and the days that she is stuck in bed because she’s hurting just a little too much are the hardest for me. This woman is everything, my very best friend. I’d feel honored to even be half of the woman she is. Through her disease, she’s taught me to push through and that asking for help doesn’t make you weak. We’re going to have those days where we think we can’t endure anymore, but we can always withstand more than our minds will let us believe we can. Rheumatoid Arthritis is a debilitating disease that has no outward symptoms. My mom never "looks sick," but she fights a battle against her own body every day.
