On this almost autumn night, I sit and write on my now favorite swing. It's the audience to a fountain with water, overlooking an enormous and calming white moon. I am not alone, God is here. I can feel it. Bible in lap, I intended to read, but somehow I can't focus on anything but my distractions. My mind is being pulled in a million different directions from "if I should of stayed to help paint to backdrop for the upcoming musical" and "I have a 8:00 a.m. New Testament class, I really need to get back and prepare for bed." And yet, I stay. I can't get up from this moment of complete stillness, where no one can see me. And no one knows what I'm about. I think back on the times I’ve been on this very swing…

Freshman year, on a summer afternoon, I came here with some friends, now acquaintances as time has gone by. We were young and clueless on life and the years to come. “Who would we be as seniors?” we wondered. Now, I know. That memory fades into another…

It comes back to me all at once- I was on this swing 2 years ago at about this time of the year. I had been talking to a boy about our future and what we desired out of life. How we would build a life together and create a world of music and happiness for each other. He kissed me on the cheek like a promise for a future. This boy, now is most likely preparing to propose to his longtime girlfriend he's so deeply in love with. I smile to myself, knowing he found his dream within another person. All he ever wanted was love…Truly, I am more than happy for him. However, I’m still here.

On this swing with God. Another memory comes quickly-

I was on this swing 6 months ago on a cold winter night with my roommate. She was preparing for her wedding in May and I was in repair from a broken heart, trembling in fear to ever open up again. She held me as I cried and encouraged me to try and love again- to not be afraid. Mending my brokenness, we were on this swing. She, whom I adore so much, is now happily married having everything she's ever wanted with the only person she's ever been with. I go back to the night of her showing me love. Showing me that it will all be okay... on this swing.

Here I am again. On this very swing, alone from anyone. It seems sometimes everyone around me has a constant moving life, from one big motion to the next, quickly growing into who they have always wanted to be. And I…sit here to swing, admiring the street lamps reflect off the water, wondering what will ever become of me in this life I forget to take advantage of more than often- Wondering how far, if I've come far at all, in the past 4 years of my college life.

As my thoughts flood over everything I have inside, memories and distractions, a sweet whisper of serenity speaks into my ear, "See the moon." How beautiful and isolating it can make someone feel. "Think of Me as the moon. Still and here with you. Looking right back into you saying “Focus on me. I see your distractions in life. I see your distractions now. I see the moving trees and falling leaves, like memories pulling your gaze away from my plan. I hear each droplet falling into the pond drawing your attention away, and I know each car that drives by to distract you from solely Looking. At. Me... Focus.”

I am continuously distracted by the events in other's lives and the progress they make within each and every day. I stray from my lane and look to another’s and think “What about me? What do I have to show?” Sometimes I think nothing. I haven’t the same friends, or relationships of the past characters in my "still in the making" life story. Am I falling behind on my path? Dear God, she is married and he is almost engaged. They are still friends, closer than ever. They are on track. I do not compare. Then, when things become too overwhelming to breathe on the thoughts I put myself through, I have moments like this. Quiet and peaceful. Where God says “See me as the moon-Focus on me and where I'm taking you. This path is not anyone's, but yours and I have a plan. These distractions are not significant; so do not make them what they are not. Journey, Focus on Me”.

And so I swing… and remember, my path is unlike any other. I trust You and Your plan.