My last two articles were written about my near misses with celebrities or people I admired. I also talked about the moments that I did get to be close to or talk to someone I admired. Through all of this, I learned some lessons. I best summarize my lesson with this monologue I wrote at Second City in Chicago this past summer.

45^th St. (A Monologue)

by Pete Law

June 21, 2016

Three Broadway shows in two days! I feel so accomplished. I guess when you’re from a small town, it makes you seem so much more refined.

Man, there are a lot of people in Times Square today. I’ll just enjoy my last hour in New York City. I’ll stand outside these theaters. It looks like "An Act of God" with Sean Hayes and "American Psycho" with Benjamin Walker are playing. Maybe if I wait long enough by the stage door, they’ll let me get my picture with them and they can give me acting advice. After all, one is an Emmy winner and the other’s former mother-in-law is Meryl Streep. I loved "Will and Grace" and "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter."

I’ll try to look cool. No, just not like a tourist. I’ll look like I belong here.

I wonder what it would be like to be on a Broadway stage. To receive that adoring applause and to be greeted by well-wishers who loved your performance. To have people back home say, “I know this guy who is on Broadway!” I know I’d be gracious.

Oh my Lord, a car’s stopping. I better get my cell phone ready. No, it’s nobody.

Most people would want to use their last hour in New York City to catch last minute photo opportunities. No, not me, I’ll be a nerd and stand outside stage doors hoping a professional actor will talk to me.

Oh, my gosh, what if I actually talk to them and they talk to me! Will I get tongue tied? Will I come off as a dork? I’ll just say, “Hi. What advice would you give another actor?" They would be friendly, right?

Is this one of them? Cell Phone ready. No.

I think I would spend as much time as possible with people outside the stage door. But what if they didn’t like the show? How would I handle it? Would I be gracious and move on or get defensive?

Oh my God, that’s Benjamin Walker walking this way. Don’t look, but look. Get your cell phone. Uh, dang, why are my pockets impossible! Say something! Say something! He looked at me and smiled. Say something! There’s no one else around.

Dang it! He already went into the theater. Why do you do that? Every time! Oh well, let me find a taxi. Let’s head to the airport and head home. LaGuardia, please!