Some people are taken back when I say feminist because they think it’s an aggressive term. The word feminist has a negative connotation with it because of those who are afraid of equality. They like to associate feminists with the term “man haters”, which I find ironic since I’ve been boy crazy since a young age. I asked my mom one day if she was a feminist like I was and she told me no, and I asked her why. When she told me why she wasn’t a feminist she said, “I don’t like to control.” At first I assumed she was associating the word feminist with aggressiveness and control. Then I asked her what she meant by control and she said, “Well, there are things I’d rather a man do.” This finally made sense to me, at least a little bit. But I still find it strange how she tended to raise such an equality-thirsty child like me when she doesn’t seem to care much.
I remember the specific moment when I became a feminist. I was in 3rd grade when my class was learning about American history. The teacher told the class that at a point in time, women weren’t allowed to vote, and all of the boys in the class cheered while I sat there timidly, and wildly confused why that would ever be. I couldn’t defend myself in any way, and that scared me.
I was such a tom-boy in elementary school. I constantly played with the boys during recess because they were the ones playing sports. My dad always made a game out of everything for my other siblings (one girl, one boy) and me, so I never associated sports with just boys until recess time in elementary school. And I never had a second thought about playing with the boys until the day they laughed in my face about their voting rights. Until this point, society has shown me nothing but equality between boys and girls and I was baffled that there ever was a difference. After this I truly believe the boys started feeling as if they were better than girls, whether I was right or just subconsciously thinking this. Their laughing in my face made me think they were better. For the first time ever, I was embarrassed of my sex, and realized that there might actually be a difference between boys and girls.
That one moment of feeling unequal to my friends reflects completely on who I am today. Women’s inequality is an actual problem in society. I often share articles, videos, and pictures that expose women’s inequality on my social media platforms and I feel that people are often intimidated by my exposing of such things. I don’t know why inequality is such a taboo topic. Is it because I am a white female? Should I not feel this way? As my physics teacher in high school once asked me, “Was there a traumatizing time in my life that affected me due to inequality to a man?” when I told him to stop making women jokes in front of the classroom.
I have found the answer; People don’t like to talk about inequality because it exposes white male supremacy, which is a privilege they do not want to lose. By others gaining equality, white men lose privilege, so it is a taboo topic, especially in my world which consists of white males. One of my very close friends listens to a song called, “It’s a Good Day to be a White Dude.” You could’ve guessed that he is white, and also a dude. Bigotry is used for power, and power is used to control others.
I do not believe in limiting either sex in any activity. Here is an important lesson for girls: If you weren’t taught to throw a ball, you’re not going to know how to throw a ball. So we should teach girls how to throw a ball if that’s what it takes to put an end to the saying, “You throw like a girl.” I have played softball for years, and I can proudly say that I DO throw like a girl.
