Dear Mom,

For the past 21 years, you've made it clear that I am of no importance to you. The drugs and the alcohol were your first love. You've made that clear to me and the rest of our family. Your drug addiction and alcoholism has ruined your friendships, your marriage with my father, your relationship with your sisters, and your relationship with me. I have spent my entire life wondering why I wasn't a good enough reason for you to get clean. Why couldn't you get clean for me? But now I know that it's not me. Your problems are just that. YOUR problems. And I refuse to blame myself anymore.

Ever since I was little, I was always on your side. I always picked you, no matter how many times you left me. I remember back when I was 4, I woke up locked in your car, alone in the parking lot of a bar. Your car was the only one in the lot, and I cried so hard that I puked. Then, when I was 6 years old, you left me at a family-friend's house. You just packed up your bags one night, and left me. My dad had to catch an overnight flight from Colorado to Maryland to come and get me. Not once did you call to let me know where you went.

Fast forward two years; I'm 8, and I'm living with my dad, my stepmother, (the real woman who raised me), and my baby brother. You called and said you were better, and I believed you. I dropped my real family for you. In the short four months that was with you, my life went to hell. I was still getting locked in your car while you smoked crack with your friends. I was missing school, I was unhealthy, and then I was put into foster care. You overdosed on pain medicine and the state took me away. I spent 8 months in foster care. And during this entire time, you lied, saying that I told you that my dad and my stepmom, (REAL MOM), beat and abused me. You were the one who abused me. You slapped me around, you left me, and you weren't the parent I needed.

Thanks to you, my relationship with my dad and mom is ruined. They've held the fact that I lied about them over my head for the past 12 years, even though it was actually YOU. I lost my father and the woman who actually raised me because of you. I have wasted my life blaming myself for your problems, but now, I'm done. I can no longer waste my time trying to help someone who doesn't even want to help them self. I'm 21 now, and it's time for me to focus on myself. I love you, and I wish nothing but the best for you. However, I can't have you in my life anymore. It's time for the both of us to grow up.

If you or someone you know needs help with alcoholism or drug abuse please call the National Help Line for Substance Abuse
(800) 262-2463